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Diana Rene: 0:06

You're listening to The Decluttered Mom podcast, a podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm your host, diana renee, and in 2017, I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in my home okay, not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me. Over the next 10 months, I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system and I'm here to share all the tips, tricks and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show. Welcome to another episode of The Decluttered Mom podcast.

Diana Rene: 0:53

Today, I'm going to talk about just a couple of mindset things in motherhood. I have learned over the years a lot of mindset the years, a lot of mindset shifts and reframes and just deep mindset work when it comes to my business, and it's been really fun to take all of those lessons that I have learned in a business format or a business setting and look at how I can apply it to my daily life, my personal life, my life as a mom, my life as a wife. There are a couple of things that have really stood out to me or have just really helped me over the years, when things feel hard, when we've had a ton of illness or a broken bone or a medical diagnosis we weren't expecting, or financial things that pop up, you know, like life, like when life happens and it feels overwhelming. These are things that help me kind of reset or reframe, and I think there's an important distinction between working on mindset and having, like this toxic positivity where everything's okay, even like even though it's not, even though it's really not like if you are really struggling with something and you just like are constantly telling yourself that everything's okay and everything's perfect. I don't think that really helps anyone. But I do think that there are times that we can use tools to be able to just shift our perspective a little bit, because sometimes that's all it is. Sometimes our perspective is just a little bit off and we need to like fly up and look at the situation from a 30,000, you know, like bird's eye, like airplane view, versus being in it and not being able to see anything, except for the hard thing not sleeping all night because the baby is up crying or the toddler is coming into your bed all night, not being able to just look at how tired you are and how frustrated you are and how tired they are and how cranky they are, and looking at that 30,000 view above and maybe just shifting the perspective a little bit. Okay. So that's my disclaimer is that I do not promote or condone toxic positivity, but the things that I'm going to share I think can be really helpful if you are just needing a little bit of a perspective shift in that moment. So the first one is actually one that I just heard recently, like as of a couple of days ago.

Diana Rene: 3:42

I've shared on here before that I have a business mentor. His name is James Wedmore and he has a podcast and I was listening to his podcast. He had a guest on. Her name is Jasmine star and they were, they were talking about I mean, they were talking about all sorts of things, but something that they said kind of collaboratively, was this idea of focusing on the destination instead of focusing on the journey, or how we tend to, as humans, focus on the destination instead of the journey. Right, so we were. They were talking about business and about life, about business and about life.

Diana Rene: 4:27

But when I take what they were talking about and I apply it to motherhood and I apply it to parenting and just thinking about the day-to-day life with kids, I think it's really really easy to look forward to things right. So like when they're babies, we look forward to when they can crawl or when they can walk, and then we look forward to when they sleep through the night and we look forward to it's kind of like life will be wonderful and perfect when X happens right. And I'm totally guilty of this, not just in motherhood or parenting, like this is something I've always struggled with and I've had to work on over my entire life really, but especially in my adulthood. I mean, even like as a teenager, like when I was a freshman in high school, I really I just couldn't wait until I was a sophomore. And then, when I was a sophomore, I couldn't wait until I was a junior because I could do all the things that the juniors did. You know what I mean.

Diana Rene: 5:28

And then when I became an adult, it turned into more things like I can't wait until we can buy a home. Once we can buy a home, then everything will feel right and everything will be good. Or once we can buy a specific car we want, or once I find the person I'm gonna marry, or once I get married. Like there's always. It's kind of like you're moving the goalpost right, like you always want something and then when you're there, you're like, okay, what's next? And so we're always living in the future and we're always living for that destination and something I have been trying to work on for years but honestly, especially like really focusing on it since about 2019.

Diana Rene: 6:15

And it's the idea of focusing on the journey versus focusing on the destination and like a lot of these things. This started in my business. Instead of focusing on where I wanted to be in my business and how I would feel when I got there, I started focusing on how I was feeling during the journey and trying to enjoy the journey and take all of the ups and downs. And my mentor, james, his motto is I'm here for all of it. So like through the good and the bad, just being there and taking it all in and appreciating that you are on this journey and that those downs are going to help you when you are at the ups right, because you're going to appreciate the positive upside when you have experienced that downside.

Diana Rene: 7:07

So something that Something that they said was oh hey, look, we're here, it's the destination. And so the idea to me how I perceive what they were saying. There is, like, look around, like look where you are. You are probably living a lived experience right now that you at some point looked forward to right now. That you at some point looked forward to right now is a destination that you had in your brain at some point in your life, whether it was when you were a kid or it was a year ago, and that really struck me as like just a cool way of saying it that if we just look around, like yes, we're, it's the beginning of summer and kids are out of school, and it tends to just be a little chaotic for a while as everyone adjusts from going to school and having that type of routine and schedule to summer, which feels more like free for all, and there's just an element of like unease or chaos, I think, among mothers everywhere.

Diana Rene: 8:15

And if we can just stop and say, oh hey, look, we're here, it's the destination, like for me. That really struck me because it's like, look, we're in the home that I always dreamed about and I have my kids. That I dreamed about since I was a little kid myself and wanted to be a mom when I grew up one day, right Like I have my husband that I'm so grateful for, and there's all of these things that were a dream for me at one point, that were not a reality for me at one point, and so it helps to just kind of create or foster this idea of appreciation, of gratitude, and it can just kind of help shift you to be like, oh, wait a minute, like I don't always have, like, yes, goals are wonderful, but I don't always have to be only thinking and striving for more or the future. I can be okay here and I I've heard um Carly, if you are on Instagram, her Instagram handle is debt-free mom and she's actually going to be on the podcast soon, so maybe we will talk about this with her. But, um, she and I know she said she got this from someone else. So I feel like I'm playing telephone here but I can't, I cannot, for the life of me, remember who she got this from. But she has been posting on Instagram lately about like it's okay to love your life, like it's okay that, even if your life doesn't look like what is perceived as, like this, um, wonderful and Pinterest D beautiful Instagram influencer life, like it's okay, it's okay to love your life and love where you are, and I think that connects really well to that quote that I heard on the podcast.

Diana Rene: 10:02

The next reframe is one that I have seen about eight bajillion times on TikTok and Instagram over the last like two years. I have no idea the original creator, because, I'm not kidding, I've probably seen an iteration of this like 200 times, and so I wish I could credit someone. I just honestly don't know who I would even credit because I have seen it so many places, but I really love this reframe and it is basically imagine like this I think this works really well with just kids within, with chaos of kids, and I think it works really really well right now as we transition into summer, but it can work at any point and the idea is that you imagine yourself to be 95 years old and you get the gift or the power to come back to your present moment for one day only, so like you're 95 years old and you get to come back Like, if it was for me, I would get to come back to my kids being nine years old and six years old and I would get one day with them like that, and what would you do differently? How would you appreciate them. How much gratitude would you have for them in their current stage in there and, and even if they are being tough that day, you're still looking at them through a different lens and it's just a different perspective shift that can really help you if you are just feeling really overwhelmed and it just kind of is just a tiny shift that can completely change how you are feeling in that moment and for that whole entire day. So I really like that one. Also, I don't think it works all the time, of course, because you know, logically, you're not 95 and you're not time traveling, but sometimes it works.

Diana Rene: 12:00

The last one I think I've talked about on the podcast here before, so forgive me if I have, but I um, I actually was talking to my team the other day saying like I need, I wish I had a tool where I could just search, like every prior episode of my podcast, for keywords, because with my ADHD brain I'm like I don't. I think I talked about that, I'm not really sure, and not all the podcast titles give it away. So it is what it is. It's still helpful today, it's something I still use all the time, so hopefully it will be helpful to you too, and that is the idea or the reframe of I get to versus I have to. So this is something that I started when my kids were really little and it was like you know, I was just in it, right, I, my kids weren't sleeping, they weren't eating, they were picky, they were tantrums and, you know, like diaper blowouts and all of the above. It was just I was in it and it was.

Diana Rene: 13:00

There were really rough times at time at times, and I found myself kind of falling into like I have to do this. I have to get up with her again because she's like up for the seventh time tonight and I have to like think of another lunch that she's probably not going to eat and throw on the floor. You know what I mean. Like all of these, like I have tos and just taking a moment to shift it to, I get to. I instead of I have to be the one who gets up with her every night because I'm the only one she wants, I'm the only one who can calm her down. It switches to I get to be the one that she wants, right, like I get to be the one person in the world who comforts her. I get to be her favorite person in the entire world in this moment and it will not always be that way. I know that I'm not naive enough to think that my kids will forever think I am like the greatest person in the world and I'm their favorite person. We're already starting to see that shift with my nine-year-old. But how awesome, how incredible is it that I get to be their favorite person and I get to be the person that they seek out if they need comfort and I get to be the person who feeds them, and I am grateful that we have the resources to be able to feed them and to be able to feed them a variety of foods. Like that is a luxury, that is not a given, and so it's just shifting that right.

Diana Rene: 14:45

Thinking of ways that you get to do something versus you having to do something, has been a really powerful shift for me and reframe through so many stages. I mean, I've been using this tool for close to, I think, eight years now and it's just, it never fails me, it always kind of snaps me back into reality and it's just, it's really, really powerful tool. So I hope that these three little tiny shifts or reframes or resets are helpful to you. I would love to hear if they are, post a story on Instagram and tag me or send me a DM. Uh, I love when I can see you guys in stories. Um, it's really fun when people will like um post a story of them going on a walk and um tag me and say that they're listening to the podcast. Because sometimes when I'm sitting here just like talking at my computer, it's very disconnected compared to Instagram where I'm used to like I'll post a story and people reply to me and then we have a conversation back and forth. It feels interactive.

Diana Rene: 15:51

The podcast is like a different thing for me because sometimes I feel like I'm speaking out into a void and every now and then you know we get feedback or I'll get DMs saying like that they love the episode or things like that. But when I see stories, I just love that. I love seeing where or how you guys are listening to the podcast. Another really cool thing is just where you are, like all over the world. I sometimes forget that the Internet has that capability and it's like oh, it's not just people in Colorado listening to my podcast, it is someone in Norway who is living in a completely different. It feels like a completely different world from me here, so I just think that's so much fun.

Diana Rene: 16:38

So I hope that you will reach out. I hope you'll tag me. I would love to see where you're listening or how you're listening and also just what you think about this episode or any other episode. I will see you on the next one. Thanks for hanging out and listening to The Decluttered Mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram stories. And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow me at thedeclutteredmom and send me a DM to say hi. I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.