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Diana Rene: 0:06

You're listening to The Decluttered Mom podcast, a podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm your host, Diana Rene, and in 2017, I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in my home okay, not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me. Over the next 10 months, I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system and I'm here to share all the tips, tricks and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show Awesome. So I have Olivia here with me today, and Olivia is a member of Minimalist Starts here, so we're just going to kind of talk about her journey and where she started from and where she is now. But first, Olivia, if you can just share a little bit about yourself, who you are, and a little bit about your story?

Olivia 1:12

I'm Olivia. I'm 27 years old, I'm from California, but I'm living in Washington State right now and I'm a stay-at-home mom full-time. I do have like a side customer service job that takes me about an hour a day, but, yeah, I'm home with my kids. I have two daughters, a three-year-old and a one-year-old, and my husband works from home as well, so we're all at home together a lot, which is fun.

Diana Rene: 1:38

That is a lot.

Olivia 1:39

Yeah, we had a year well, not a whole year.

Diana Rene: 1:41

We had like seven, eight months of that during 2020. And it was, it was a lot, it was an adjustment, it was a. You know different types of challenges and different types of joys.

Olivia 1:54

Yes, it's nice that my husband can help during the day, but it's also I have to, you know, be wary of noise and things like that.

Diana Rene: 2:03

Yes, that was our biggest issue. Also, when COVID happened, my oldest was in kindergarten, so it was like our first year of experiencing her being gone during the day, you know because she did preschool, but it was like two hours, three days a week or something. It was very short. And then COVID happened and she came home for online school for an entire year, and then my husband came home and wasn't working in the office and so it was like, oh, like we were just starting this transition into like a little bit different, and then it was like, just kidding, you guys are all going to be home together, and at that time it felt like it would be forever, right, cause nobody knew what was going on. Yeah, yeah, um, so when did you join the program?

Olivia 2:55

I joined at the end of June 2022. Okay, I had a lot of summer vacations happening last summer. It took me about three months to get through the program, the decluttering portion of it.

Diana Rene: 3:09

Okay, great. And before you joined the program, how did you feel in your?

Olivia 3:15

home. It's kind of a funny story because originally, you know, my home felt fine to me. Okay, moved just two years ago from a one bedroom apartment to a four bedroom house and so I felt like I had all the space in the world. I was like this feels so empty. I hear an echo, you know, yeah, and so my house was not really overwhelming to me.

Olivia 3:41

But I actually found you through a reel you did about PM pickup, about cleaning up your kitchen, and what I was feeling is I don't have time to do anything for myself. Like the whole day is about the kids and the housework and then they go to sleep. I, you know, do a little bit of my work. I clean up the kitchen, I have some time to watch a show with my husband, but then I'm so tired All I can do is scroll on social media and I'm not doing anything that I love to do. Yeah. And so I was thinking, maybe with your habits and systems, like maybe I just need to figure out how to be more productive. Like I remember writing in a Facebook mom's group like why does it take me 45 minutes to do the dishes every night? Like what am I doing wrong? Yeah, there's like so much time that I'm spending on these tasks and I would rather be, you know, reading a book or doing a hobby of mine, or something.

Olivia 4:38

So, yes, I bought your course and I was like, okay, I'm just going to go straight to the habit, systems and routines, because that's what I need. I don't have a lot of clutter, you know. And so I opened up that course and I said make sure you do the decluttering course first. And I was like, okay, well, I guess you know I don't think I'll find a lot, I guess I'll just follow what she says. And so I then went back to the decluttering course and after completing that, I realized that there was a lot of clutter and for me it was invisible because my house was so big and we really didn't have a lot. Like yeah, there was no decor to get rid of, there was nothing on the walls, but like, maybe there's always a threshold for you know what you need and anything above that is extra and it does get in the way. And I realized that, like, yeah, going through the course.

Diana Rene: 5:28

So yeah, okay, that's really interesting. Um, so you were not really necessarily feeling overwhelmed in your home. It was more like a time constraint thing that you were feeling. But, um, I can't tell you how many times that someone has joined the program. And then they're like, or or actually, let me backtrack Someone will DM me and we'll be like can I just buy your HSR method course, which is the habit, systems and routines?

Diana Rene: 5:55

Cause they're like I'm totally like decluttered and everything and I just need to do the systems and routines. And I will say, yes, you can, you can go on my website and buy it. But I would like really, really, really highly encourage you to go through the decluttering part first, and there's always resistance. And then they always come back and they're like oh my gosh, how did I have? Like so, like I had so much to donate and I had no idea. Like I thought I was doing fine. And it almost always is people who are in bigger homes, or especially if they started in a smaller home or a smaller apartment and then moved into a bigger home, because when we do have extra space, it's easier to just put things in more closets, right?

Olivia 6:41

Yeah, we have four walk-in closets and even with the few amount of stuff in those closets, you know, it just felt like there was so much space and it didn't seem cluttered you know just it didn't seem cluttered.

Diana Rene: 6:54

Yeah, that is like a very common sentiment that I hear is like I don't really think I need to declutter, I just need to organize. That's something I hear a lot. I just need to organize, which is like what's something I hear a lot, I just need to organize, which is like what I always thought I needed to do prior to decluttering. Or I just need, like a better systems in my home and then things will be fine. And you saw that that was maybe not necessarily the case.

Olivia 7:18

Yes, and yeah, it was just I thought like I'm doing something wrong, like my productivity is like it's not good. It's something about me, yes, something I need to like train myself to do housework faster or something. Yeah, but yeah it. There was a lot of things that we didn't need. Especially toys made the biggest difference. Okay, because when I got rid of a lot of toys, I found my, my kids were able to play more independently, which I've heard you say yeah, um, yeah, they could entertain themselves for so much longer and they were also becoming more interested in the housework that I was doing. Yeah, so the less toys meant like my world became more interesting. You know, now my one year old even helps me unload the dishwasher, like she hands me utensils and things, and my three-year-old now wants to cook with me, and so I'm getting to do the housework with them and I don't have to like entertain them on the side, so it's a win-win.

Olivia 8:22

There's less toys, but they're also more entertained, somehow.

Diana Rene: 8:25

Yeah, absolutely.

Diana Rene: 8:26

And then that also allows you to like foster their interests, right?

Diana Rene: 8:31

Because, um, my oldest is nine and she like, starting at age three, she really, really wanted to help me cook and bake which I don't bake often Cause I don't like it and I'm not good at it but like she'd want to help me cook dinner and I would be prior to like decluttering and going through systems and routines, I would be like I don't, like I don't want her to help me because it's just going to take longer, it's going to be messier, Like there's even more stuff I have to take care of then, and when we don't have that much on our plate, we're allowed to or not allowed, but we're able to be a little bit more patient and intentional with our kids and with what we're doing in our home.

Diana Rene: 9:14

And so we had the space and the time and the energy for her to be able to help more. And now that's like now she can like grill steaks, basically on her own in our backyard with my husband, just like observing and making sure she's being safe, but like she can cook better than I can, and I don't think, if I had that um ability to like allow her to do that because I was so impatient before, because I was so overwhelmed with our home that I think I would have totally like squashed that interest in her. Yeah.

Olivia 9:47

Yes, I feel that exactly, and there's a book that I read that also helped me with the toy situation called Hunter Gather, parent, ok, and it follows indigenous groups and how they parent and like how they've been parenting for thousands of years. Yeah, and one of the thing is like to encourage helpfulness in a child who wants to help around the house or help cook or help clean. Take away the toys, take away the child centered activities yeah, and it will take longer, but you're actually this is, this is played for them. Yeah, so that was helpful for me as well. Yeah, very cool.

Diana Rene: 10:29

So you got through the decluttering portion of the program in about three months. You said then did you move on to the HSR method after that?

Olivia 10:39

Yes, the most helpful one for me has been the PN pickup, which is why I came to you originally. Yeah, and yeah, it was just so much easier once I cleared all my countertops to have a reset point that every night the countertops can be clear and the dishes are put away, because before there was always something lingering and some dishes lingering from. Before it was just hard to find the motivation to like keep it clear. But once it's clear, it's so much easier. You want it to be clear, right? Yeah, and I'm able to do dishes throughout the day now because I have more time, and so at night it's not taking 45 minutes, it takes like five to 10 minutes to like get the kitchen completely clean again. I love that Awesome.

Diana Rene: 11:26

Yeah, I think that's something that's really interesting when it comes to not only kitchens, but everywhere in our home.

Diana Rene: 11:32

But let's use the kitchen as an example. Okay, so if you let the dishes pile up for a couple of days and you're just putting them in the sink and putting them on the counter next to the sink and you're like, okay, I need to do dishes, I need to do dishes, and then you put as much as you can into a dishwasher finally, but there's still, like a stack of dirty dishes in the sink, we are so much more likely to walk into our kitchen and just put the extra dirty dishes in the sink if there's already dirty dishes in there. But if we walk into our kitchen and the sink is totally cleared out and it's been cleaned, you are way less likely to just put the dirty dish in the sink, right, you're more likely to like actually put it in the dishwasher and keep that system going. And so we kind of have to, we kind of trick our brains by doing this, by creating these systems because we make it easier on ourselves which help us to keep up with those systems.

Olivia 12:31

Yeah, and same thing that reminded me of like also countertops, like having a cleaned off, wiped down countertop. Then, like my daughter spills a little bit of chocolate powder on it, Then I just immediately wipe it up because I want it to stay clean. But if the countertop's already dirty I'm like, okay, I'll deal with that later.

Diana Rene: 12:48

Yeah and it builds up right, like it's like a constant building, um, and then we just get to the point where we like can't take it anymore, and so we like rage clean, but that doesn't really do anything for our mood or or the system, or actually getting the kitchen to a place where we want it to be. Is there any other system or routine that you have implemented in your home that has been helping?

Olivia 13:16

Another one recently that I just started doing was in your laundry section of routines. You said that you didn't fold your kids' clothes. Yeah, and when I originally read it I was like, okay, that's not really for me, I'll just leave that. You know, because my daughter has tons of princess dresses and that's what she wears every well. So now I have two girls switching out princess dresses all the time and I finally said, okay, I'm going to put a basket in your closet and all the clothes are going in this basket. They're all crumpled, I'm no longer hanging anything. I got rid of all the hangers and they're all in this basket. And it has made life so much easier, because now when the clothes are on the floor, I just like just put them in the basket and everything is cleaned up again right, I know, sometimes I think we like we just make things so much harder on ourselves.

Diana Rene: 14:24

Um, just for the sake of like what we've always done, like we've always, we've always done that, and I used to do that with my kids' clothes. I used to fold every single thing like, even like their underwear I would like you know, like smooth out and fold in half and like put in a pile. And then one day I was like I remember walking into my kid's room and like saw that like all these clothes that I had just folded and put in their drawers were like all over, like on the floor right, and like the drawers were open because they were like rummaging through them to find like a specific thing. And I was like I just wasted like an hour of my time folding these clothes. They don't care and they're going to mess it up anyway, so I'm just going to toss it in. So I kind of did it out of like frustration. But then I was like, oh, this, this actually is like okay, like their clothes don't like little leggings, don't really get very wrinkly if they're tossed into a drawer. This is kind of life changing.

Olivia 15:22

And also I found there's actually fewer outfit changes for me because it is harder for them to find what they want. Oh, really. They'll just kind of give up, like and if they do dump out the whole basket, I just throw it all back in. So, yes, it's a much better system now. That is so funny.

Diana Rene: 15:40

Have you noticed anything? I know you said that your kids you've noticed with less toys are more interested in what you're doing and that they're playing better. Is there anything else that your kids or your spouse have noticed with decluttering and with adding these systems?

Olivia 15:57

in For my husband in preparation for this podcast. I asked him like I think you know she might ask me, like how has your husband been? And he was like, what you've been decluttering? I haven't noticed at all and that was kind of a half half joke, but half true because you know, um, we have, we didn't have a lot of stuff, like I said to begin with. So, yeah, he might not have noticed, but the state of my own mental health in the home has been very apparent, like I feel like I'm much happier overall, I'm more able to, yeah, give people the time they need from me, and he has noticed that we've been eating in a lot more because I have more time to cook. Yeah, so we are saving a lot of money that way. So he's noticed that.

Olivia 16:50

But, yeah, previously, even with my first daughter, I would just having one daughter I would feel like I, like I said, I wasn't able to do what I wanted to do, and because my husband was, because he didn't have to get up in the night and breastfeed, you know he was being able to do his hobbies and everything and I wasn't, and that led to some bitterness. Um, yeah, but now, after decluttering, like I can truly say I am doing what I want to do with my day, like I'm reading the books I want. You know, I'm baking bread, yeah, and I can be more supportive now, like genuinely supportive, of his activities. Like he's busy with work and he has tennis and he's going to school, and so before I can imagine, I might've felt like, ah, where's the time for myself, but after decluttering I do have that time and I am able to do what I want. So that's been amazing for us, yeah.

Diana Rene: 17:43

It takes away some of that resentment. Um, we experienced that also, um, but also I think it took um a lot of like just just tension away because, um it it wasn't always like, oh, I'm doing all of this for the home, what are you doing for the home? Like it was, it was just there was less stuff to do which, overall, helped everyone in the home. And, um, kind of like what you were saying too, is that, like I became a happier and more patient mom, um, because I had these kids and I always have wanted kids. And then I they're here and I'm like feeling like I'm always frustrated and I was like, um, a very, I was a very impatient mom prior to decluttering and I feel like that kind of saved that part of my motherhood and I don't think that that's uncommon. I think that that's pretty prevalent. When we do simplify and when we let go of the excess, because it gives us energy, right, it takes away that frustration it takes away that, that frustration.

Olivia 18:54

Yes, I really feel that, especially like now that my one-year-old takes one nap a day. Before, during that nap, I would have been, you know, trying to clean the house or do the dishes or try to like rapidly do everything I couldn't quote, couldn't do while she was awake. Um, but now, like when my one-year-old naps, I just relax on the couch with my three-year-old and we do nothing and we talk and we cuddle, and I get to have that quality time with her, whereas before I would have been unhappy and also, you know, not paying attention to my daughter.

Diana Rene: 19:22

Yeah, Right, I love that I we had a member in the program that DM me after she was done and she like sent me a picture of her TV and her family room with, like the TV on and she's like it's nap time and my kids have been napping for two hours and I've been sitting on the couch like watching Netflix and like eating snacks and she's like this has been going like.

Diana Rene: 19:48

This is. I've been doing this for the last two weeks during nap time and she was like at first I felt like really guilty because I was like before there was always something I had to be doing during nap time, and now she's like I look around and like the house is picked up, like there's not really anything I have to do, like and so I let myself have this like two hour time period as like rest for me myself, have this like two hour time period as like rest for me, and she's like and it's taking time for me to like be okay with that, because I'm so conditioned to like always having something I have to be doing.

Olivia 20:20

Yeah, there's not that nagging feeling anymore of like things vying for your attention and what's next on the to-do list? It's like okay, I can, I have the time to relax now, so I'm going to relax. Hey, absolutely Like what a concept, awesome.

Diana Rene: 20:37

Well, olivia, it was really really great to have you on for the podcast today. I just like to say, before we get off, is there anything else you want to say, or do you feel like you've kind of covered what you really wanted to cover?

Olivia 20:50

um, yeah, that's pretty much all I wanted to say, like. I will say that, um, I started your program thinking, you know, it would help me with this little slice of motherhood and it would help me fix, you know, my productivity problem or whatever. And I realized after the program that it's really transformed my whole view on motherhood, like it's something that's enjoyable, it's something I'm, I.

Olivia 21:18

There are overwhelming moments, but I don't feel overwhelmed anymore and so thank you so much for your program and and the Facebook group has just been amazing because everyone has a different home, and to be able to search in there and see very specific, you know problems has been helpful as well.

Diana Rene: 21:40

Yeah, well, you're welcome. But also thank you for trusting the process and opening HSR and being like nope, I have to do the decluttering first, because I think it would have been really easy for you to just be like no, like I just need the systems and start with the systems, and then it wouldn't have worked probably as much as well, because you still would have had the excess going through. So thank you for trusting the process.

Olivia 22:08

Yes, and I actually had. I've been telling people about my decluttering process now because it's very exciting for me. And I had a mom over for a play date the other day and I was showing her like all the things I had done and talking about. You know how great your program was and just the feelings I had after, and she started with little things too, so it's exciting to share it with others, so I'm glad I got to share it here too.

Diana Rene: 22:34

I love it. Well, thank you so much, Olivia. Yeah, nice talking to you. You too. Thanks for hanging out and listening to The Decluttered Mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram stories. And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow me at thedeclutteredmom and send me a DM to say hi. I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.