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 Diana Rene: 0:06 

You're listening to The Decluttered Mom podcast, a podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm Diana Rene your host, , and in 2017, I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in my home okay, not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me. Over the next 10 months, I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system and I'm here to share all the tips, tricks and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show. Welcome to this episode of The Decluttered Mom Podcast.

Diana Rene: 0:54 

I got to have a conversation with a friend of mine a couple of weeks ago, and I wanted to share that conversation with you here today. For today's episode, the conversation is with Mel Abraham, and Mel is someone that I met about a year and a half ago in a business mastermind that I was in last year, and so we went to three different retreats, and I first met him in California. January of 2023, right, yes, trying to think of the year that we're currently in, does anyone else feel like all the years have blurred together over the last four or five years? Anyway, so in January of 2023,. I met him at this retreat and I asked him a question about kids and money and how to help kids understand money better, because when I have looked for resources, I've really only found resources that look at money in one particular way and I wanted to see if there was other ways to look at it, especially as an entrepreneur, and this conversation absolutely 100% is not only applicable to entrepreneurs. We talk a lot about the current just economic climate. For just every person, right, it's just how expensive groceries are and how rent is so high and mortgages are so high and it just feels like it's never ending, and so we talk a lot about that.

Diana Rene: 2:26 

And he just has always been a source for me over the last year and a half of guidance when it comes to anything personal finance, and so I really wanted to bring him on because he has a new book. It's out now. This is the first week that it's out and we will have it linked in the show notes for you. But we also decided, kind of on a whim while I was having a conversation with him, that we're going to have a giveaway for his book also, so we're going to be giving away 20 of his books over on my Instagram at thedeclutteredmom. Again, if you're not already following me on there, please do and say hi, send me a DM, but check out my stories, and if you're listening to this a couple days later, then it's going to be in the highlights on my bio.

Diana Rene: 3:15 

But this is going to go for this week, and I'm really excited to just get his book out to more people, because I truly believe he just makes things easy to understand. He breaks them down in a way that is just really, really beneficial to me, and so I really hope that this conversation serves you well. Also, if you have any interest in any of this stuff, so let's just go ahead and listen to that conversation with my friend, mel, all right, so I am here with my friend, mel Abraham, and Mel is someone that I actually met in a business mastermind last year, and so we got to spend some time together and he's been my go-to to pick his brain when it comes to anything personal finance, basically, as you are listening to this, you probably know that there are a billion opinions out there and it's really hard to know what to do with your money, and so I am really excited for Mel to come talk to you today because you're going to learn so much. So, mel, welcome to the Decluttered Mom podcast.

Mel Abraham: 4:25 

Oh my gosh, Diana, thank you so much for having me. This is going to be fun.

Diana Rene: 4:30 

Yeah, absolutely so. Mel. Can you just share a little bit more about who you are and what you do?

Mel Abraham: 4:36 

Yeah, I am. Well, I'm a CPA by education. The crazy thing is it doesn't really matter, because they didn't teach me any of the stuff that I'm doing for the license for any of it. So, but I came up as an entrepreneur and someone that was fascinated with business. But, more importantly, I got fascinated with how do we live a life that is meaningful, that is impactful, that is what we're meant to do, fully lived and uh, and I had this, had an opportunity to to figure this thing out on on on the road, if you will, as a single full-time dad. I, I, I raised my son from five and a half years old just him and I and trying to figure out how do you navigate the money side of things and and the business side of things, and the life side of things, and the business side of things, and the life side of things and the parenting side of things, and how do you put it all together so it works.

Diana Rene: 5:32 

Yeah, just a couple of things you know.

Mel Abraham: 5:34 

Yeah.

Diana Rene: 5:35 

Yeah, that was actually one of the questions that I cornered Mel one day in California and I said, mel, like what in the world, how do I teach my kids anything about money? Because, you know, most most things I have read out there are really, really like frugal based I guess is is how I would put it and that's not necessarily. You know, I want my kids to be responsible with money, but I also want them to be able to dream and have big goals and all of that. So maybe I'm sure there are many moms here who would love to hear your advice on just if you had some top tips for raising kids with their money.

Mel Abraham: 6:19 

Oh, this is a perfect place, because here's what I truly believe we have the opportunity of a lifetime to make sure that our kids never struggle financially, and I mean this in the sense of I think one of the greatest gifts we can give them is the ability to be financially independent. Yeah, and the second greatest gift is for us to be financially independent, because if we're both financially independent, neither one of us is showing up on each other's doorstep saying I need the couch, I can't survive.

Mel Abraham: 6:53 

Right. So here's the thing I think, and we can talk a little bit about what I did with my son. I said my son is, he's no longer five, he's 34, two kids and and three. You know a beautiful wife, three homes and a multimillion dollar net worth already.

Diana Rene: 7:10 

Wow.

Mel Abraham: 7:10 

And and so, and I started young with him. I started having conversations with him at 10 years old. You know, there's this, this thought, that if you start to talk about money, that maybe the kids will will focus on money and it's the stuff and it's the it's, it's the acquiring and it's it's materialistic and it's greed and it's all that. And it can be. It certainly can be, but if we do it right, we can instill values into our children around the money, the respect around what it is meant for, and to give them the gift of understanding how to control it. So it doesn't control them. And I think that's where we start is to be really clear on the values that we want to instill in them.

Mel Abraham: 8:07 

One of the things that I do with Jeremy is when I started to give him what I called a commission, he had to allocate it and he had a portion that was for generosity, for giving, for donations, for giving back, which is part of where the values come in.

Mel Abraham: 8:26 

The second part of it was for his own enjoyment and some spending. The third part of it was for investing in savings, and what it allowed us to do is to have conversations on those three levels and why and show him the ways to do that, versus just handing him an allowance and he does what he wants and he buys video games and this and that. But in this case, what I was able to do is well, let's talk about the charity that you want to get behind the movement. Why is it important and what can you do and how can you do it. And then have the conversation about the investing why, at 10 years old or 11 years old, Do you even think about investing? And so, as much as he, he doesn't understand that at that time, the time value of money. It's really about just saying here's what we can do. Can you imagine if your money actually just continues to multiply?

Diana Rene: 9:31 

Yeah, what do?

Mel Abraham: 9:32 

you mean. So we have those conversations. And now, also, because he has a limited supply and he wants to do some things today with the money he wants to, he has to take care of his lunches. Trust me, I didn't let him go hungry, but he had to figure out how to manage it and put priorities in place. And I would ask questions like which one gives you the most joy? Or are you making the decision because your friend got one and counteracting some of the peer pressure and the social media pressure?

Mel Abraham: 10:03 

We didn't have social media back then, but the social media pressure that they have today with what I call the, what Patrick Bette David calls the comparison set that you know, growing up we didn't have. We were comparing ourselves to other kids in the neighborhood, but now they're comparing themselves to, you know, the Kardashians and what they see on social media, and this they think is the reality of their world, versus being really clear on what they want in their life and this goes for adults too is that when someone's trying to figure out their, their money game, one of the first things I do is I said what's your life, what do you want? Like the, I was having a conversation with a millennial he's actually from my publisher of my new book and he happened to say I'm never going to get a house, I'm never going to be able to afford a house. I said I said why do you want a house? He says it's the American dream. And I said I get that. I said, but, but, pip, let me ask you something. He said what I said is it your dream? And he just went silent and he goes I don't know. I said sometimes we chase the dreams that others put in our way because that's what we're supposed to do versus defining our own dreams and going after them. And I think we get're supposed to do versus defining our own dreams and going after them. And I think we get a chance to do that with the children and the youth in doing that. And I've got a very special place in what I do with the youth because I truly believe that we can fix some things and the power of some of this.

Mel Abraham: 11:47 

I've got one kid he's 16 and a half years old who joined one of my programs and about six months ago we were on one of the calls. He's now 17. He says he got a job and I said great. I said he says what do I do? I said open up a Roth IRA. And he said great. So three weeks ago we're on a call and he says I got a question.

Mel Abraham: 12:06 

I said what he says I funded my Roth IRA, but I don't know what to invest in. And I said you're still 17. He says no, I'm 18. Now I said okay, how much did you fund it with? I thought maybe at 18, he put $500 in or $1,000 in and that's it. He says no, I, I fully funded it for 23 and I already funded 2024.

Mel Abraham: 12:30 

Hold on a second.

Mel Abraham: 12:31 

You're 18.

Mel Abraham: 12:32 

You tell me you put 6,500 in for 2023 and 7,000 in for 2024 and he, like he flippantly just says well, it's easier because I'm living at home.

Mel Abraham: 12:43 

But here's the thing.

Mel Abraham: 12:44 

I looked at him.

Mel Abraham: 12:44 

I let's do some math. If we just put it away in an S&P 500 index fund and we can talk about that and by the time you hit age 60, that $13,000 that you put away now will go up 107 times. I said you're already a millionaire. You'll have $1.2 million if you did nothing. No more if you stop, which we're not going to allow you to stop, and the only thing you got to avoid is stupid and just stay in the game. Only thing you got to avoid is stupid and just stay in the game. And this is the power of what we can do with our kids by teaching them about not going into debt, teaching them some responsibility, teaching them some values. And now, all of a sudden, by the time they're age 30, 30, like my son, he's 34 by 38, they're set, they're done and they don't have to worry, which also means I don't have to worry. So it's like wow. And so we have an opportunity, I think, with our kids, to open up conversations that are meaningful, valuable and can set them up for life.

Diana Rene: 13:55 

I love that. And something you mentioned to me when we chatted about this in person was because we were already doing an allowance and we had an envelope, you know, like little binder envelope, where they had giving, saving and spending. But in talking to you I was like you know what, we're going to add a fourth and we're going to do investing and keep that separate from savings. And we're going to try a fourth and we're going to do investing and keep that separate from savings and we're going to try to start planting those seeds.

Diana Rene: 14:22 

And that's hard, as someone who was never taught that until the last couple of years, really to teach a 10 and a seven-year-old the concept of investing. So we told them, we said, listen, if you take these $2 and every week you put in $2 of your allowance into this investing, we ran a calculator and we showed them and it was like I don't remember the number, but it was for my seven-year-old it was something like 2.3 million or something If she put in $2 a week starting at age seven. Their eyes were just so big and it was so fun to see them start to like, like, see the power of it at such a young age, because I didn't see the power of it until I was about 34. Yeah, and that made it harder.

Mel Abraham: 15:06 

It does, it really does. That's why I don't. I don't know why we don't have these conversations early on, because then we could the more time we have, the less money we need, the more. The less time we have, the more money we need. Why not open up the conversation? The other thing I did with Jeremy as I started giving him a little more money, I told him that whatever you put into your Roth, I will match. So now all of a sudden he says you mean, if I put $100 in, you're going to put $100 in debt. And I go, yep.

Diana Rene: 15:38 

And now that $200 actually grows and you keep all of it, I like that yeah, Very cool, and I also like how you're talking about him doing his own lunches and all of that.

Diana Rene: 15:49 

So we have specific things that are tied to.

Diana Rene: 15:52 

We change the word to commission after talking to you also instead of allowance, commission after talking to you also instead of allowance, and they get, you know, a specific amount of money each week if they do the things that they're supposed to do throughout the week. These are just things that not only they're supposed to just do as members of the household. You know, put their dirty clothes in the laundry and put their plate in the dishwasher and things like that. But in order to get their commission, they have to do three above and beyond things that week. So they have to pick from a list of things, and one of them, which is my favorite, is look around for something that needs to be done and do it. So we are teaching them you know we're trying to teach them, you know managing a home and a family young, while at the same time, we want them to understand that they have they do have to work to earn money, but they also have to do the bare minimum to just to be a family member living in a household sharing a space.

Mel Abraham: 16:51 

Oh, without a doubt, I love this. Yeah, the cool thing is is the conversations that you can have around. It whole thing is is the conversations that you can have around it.

Diana Rene: 17:04 

It just opens up the ability to have more of a dialogue. Well, yeah, and my 10 year old last week, when she was putting her allowance into her little folder, she said so what do we do with the giving? Because she's like built up all this money in the giving and so that really opened the door to be able to talk to her about, like, what types of things are important to her. And you know she's really interested in saving the earth and picking up trash and so what type of organization can we do to donate that money to, to further what you believe in? And so that was a really cool conversation. That wouldn't maybe wouldn't have happened if we didn't have that door open for us.

Mel Abraham: 17:41 

Without a doubt I um, I intentionally so with my new book. I actually have an appendix in the back of the book. Uh, two, two separate ones. One is conversation starters for couples, but also money conversation starters for our youth. Conversation starters for couples, but also money conversation starters for our youth. Oh, so we can open up these conversations and I have two sets of them One for the more teenage type of conversation starters and then one for younger kids. Okay, where you're gamifying it and all that stuff. I love it. So it's really kind of cool Because I just believe that, having it's in hindsight, obviously I it's not like I knew how it was going to work out when I started having the conversations with Jeremy, but I, in hindsight, I look at it and say it was the right thing to do, but I had to give enough context of it to it that he got a set of values along with it.

Diana Rene: 18:41 

Right, yeah, that makes sense. So your new book is out when this episode is airing. It's out this week. So it's something that anyone listening to this can go grab now, and it's called Building your Money Machine, and I would love for you to share just what. What does that mean? Your money machine?

Mel Abraham: 19:00 

Yeah. So this is the other side of some of the things that I think we can teach our kids and and ourselves is that we've grown up in an environment where we've been told to get a good job, get a good career or build a business. In other words, you gotta go make money, you gotta go make money, make money, make money, make money, and we think that making money is the key to living the life that we wanted to live. And I thought the same thing. I was building my business. I was doing all the things I was supposed to be doing. I was running on a treadmill, including trying to be a full-time dad.

Mel Abraham: 19:36 

I thought I was doing it right, and what happened is that, at six years old, jeremy came running into me and he says daddy, daddy, daddy, I drew a picture of you at school today, and so I kneeled down to look at this picture. Now I'm thinking I'm going to see this picture of him and I playing ball, we're at Disneyland, we're doing all these fun things. Nope, it was a picture of me standing in front of two computer screens and a phone in each ear and one on the desk ringing Shot to the heart, and the thing was a lot of people were looking at me saying, hey, you gotta get work-life balance and, and and you know you do need to earn a living. I get it. And I could have said, hey, jeremy, but I need the profits. We need the profits to keep the roof of our heads up to do these things. If he understood what profits were which I doubt he did at six years old he probably would have looked at me. He says, dad, I I get that, but I don't need your profits, I need your presence. And that was just too much to bear.

Mel Abraham: 20:45 

That's what put me on this exploration, saying is it possible for the ability to make a good career, have a good income, impact lives and serve the greatest gift and live a life that is meaningful with the people you love, to coexist and not have it as an either or or, compartmentalized, where you're doing one for part of the day and the other for the other part of the day?

Mel Abraham: 21:14 

And that's what got me to start saying how do I separate my ability to earn from the efforts to earn it? In other words, how do I build a machine outside of my efforts, to generate income for me so I can live and live a life of choice and that's where the concept of the money machine came from is that earnings is one thing. That's to serve a purpose, that's to have an impact, that's to provide services and products, to create a cash flow. It's never been meant to give you freedom, it's never been meant to build a legacy, it's never been meant to give you the wealth. It isn't your wealth, it is the fuel to it if you do the right things. And so now we have to build the money machine by taking the money we're making, or a portion of it, and using it properly to allow us to separate our efforts from our earnings.

Diana Rene: 22:12 

Okay. So I was looking at your book website and something was really like where the stats are staggering that is the headline and they really are and I wanted to read a couple of these. We could chat about them. So one of them is that 72% feel stressed about money and 22% experience extreme stress. 63% of people couldn't take care of an unexpected expensive $500. And money is the biggest stressor in relationships and the second leading cause of divorce. So if someone is listening to this and they're like yup, yup, yup, that's you know, I fit all of those. What do you say to them when they're thinking about money? I fit all of those. What do you say to them when they're thinking about money?

Mel Abraham: 22:59 

So here's the thing, and now this can be confronting, but I'm but it is also empowering when you really look at it.

Diana Rene: 23:04 

Okay.

Mel Abraham: 23:06 

Whatever, whatever your money situation is today, okay, you have no money problems. You have no money issues. What you have is money symptoms. Okay, they're symptoms of choices, decisions and behaviors of the past. Your ability to build wealth is based more on your behaviors than it is on the income you earn. Okay, so what that means is that, okay, if I can give you the right behaviors, the right habits, the right way to make decisions, we can change the result Doesn't mean it's easy, but it doesn't mean that it's not simple.

Mel Abraham: 23:49 

You might be in a hole because you have a ton of debt, so you have a steeper hill to climb, you have a bigger boulder to push. But impossible doesn't I mean hard doesn't mean impossible. It allows us to do it, and so we just need the right recipe. So the first thing I would look at and say I get it. If you're feeling stressed, then the first thing is to stop and and acknowledge that it is stressful and now start asking more insightful questions about what is it about money that is stressing me out? Is it my beliefs in money? Are they the stories that I'm telling myself? And I had plenty of stories. I still do.

Mel Abraham: 24:33 

I still struggle with things at times, you know, is it the fact that maybe I'm having a hard time paying bills? And we have to get more tactical and look at, you know, what are the bills that I have, what's my income streams, what are the things that I have in place and what do I have to prioritize? Is it some sort of value system that we got from parenting, from society, from media, from religious upbringing that maybe gets us to look at money through shame and guilt, all those things, and, depending what it is, we need to look at what money is. It's simply a tool. It is neither positive or negative, and we need the money not because we need the money. We need the money because we want that to be able to fuel the life that we were put here to live.

Mel Abraham: 25:29 

And so we got to look at it through that set of goggles first and figure out do we need to start tactically or do we need to start psychologically? I thought, as a CPA, I thought that I would come in here when I started teaching this and say I'm just going to teach you the math behind wealth. I'm going to teach you all the columns and rows. We'll get all the mathematics and all that stuff. And I quickly figured out I can't fix the pocketbook if I don't fix the thing between years. Yeah, and so we have to deal with that.

Diana Rene: 26:04 

Yep, I totally, I believe all of that and I have experienced that. You know myself, and just being married and seeing how differently we grew up around money, and just that alone is like eye-opening to be like, wow. We have very different beliefs about money and it makes sense, based on you know what happened in our childhoods.

Mel Abraham: 26:27 

Very, very much so. Yeah, when you start to come together as a company, you know we all have it's like. It's like the love languages we have money languages, you're right. And if one's a spender, it's like the love languages we have money languages. You're right, and if one's a spender, one's a saver. Y'all gonna have some issues.

Diana Rene: 26:44 

Yep, yeah for sure. So if someone's listening right now and they are kind of, you know, like when you were talking about having a hard time paying bills right now and they're shaking their head right along with you, I know something I am hearing just in mom circles and mom Facebook groups and all of that is how much grocery prices have gone up and rent and all of those things. And I know you're not a predictive economist. But number one do you see that kind of leveling out anytime in the near future? Do you see that kind of leveling out anytime in the near future hopefully any future. And number two is it possible for someone who is feeling like they're just trying to keep their head above water to build that money machine? Yes to both.

Mel Abraham: 27:30 

Okay, okay.

Diana Rene: 27:31 

One.

Mel Abraham: 27:31 

I'll give you a better answer to the other one. Is a crystal ball, but do I think that we're going to come back? Is a crystal ball, but here's, do I think that we're going to come back? I think that we will see an economic return to a little, a little better economic times? I think it's going to take a bit, it's going to. We have we have the circus coming along in November called the election. So, lord knows, nothing's happening this year.

Diana Rene: 27:58 

Yeah.

Mel Abraham: 27:58 

So I don't see that interest rates, which drive a lot of this, are going to go down. Now, technically, under the technical definition, we're not in a recession. That's what they say. But realistically, you and I and all of us. But realistically, you and I and all of us, we're living in a time where we're either going into a store and seeing that the prices have gone up or the prices didn't go up, but the amount we get for the price has gone down. So either way, it's costing more to get what we want.

Mel Abraham: 28:35 

And so I call that quiet recession. It's a silent recession that we're living in and living in denial by whether it's the politicians, the media, because they can say well, the market's up and all that stuff, yeah, but people's lives are more financially stressed today than they have been in a long time. You know, interest rates, cost of living, fuel, rents, housing, all of it. And so there is going to be a reckoning, because we can't deny it forever, and so do I think that we're going to get some sort of downturn in the market correction. Like my wife, she's worked for a company for a number of years big company. They just, literally on Thursday, went through a reorg.

Mel Abraham: 29:29 

Oh wow, here she is. She gets an email in the morning that says stay home, stay by your phone, we'll get ahold of you and we'll let you know the status of your job, not stress inducing at all.

Diana Rene: 29:42 

No, you wake up on a Thursday morning thinking it's going to be a day and then then, all of a sudden, no, she's fine, she's got her job and all that stuff, but, but, and and.

Mel Abraham: 29:52 

The fact is is because we have a money machine. Even if she didn't have her job, we're okay, you know, because we took the time to set it up long ago. But here's. This is the environment that we're in, and people aren't talking about it there. There, there are layoffs, there are costs, and so I think that we need to be real.

Mel Abraham: 30:12 

That means that that can we navigate it? Yes, but it's going to require us to be much more disciplined and much more discerning about what we really need and want in life. And so, as a mom or as someone, if you're in an intimate relationship, as a couple, I think that the most important thing first is to define what do you want your life to be? What do you want it to be like? Because, rather than taking on the expectations of others and those expectations could be like even me I got my accounting degree, I went to a big consulting firm, I was on path to partnership, and there was expectations of my career path based on my degree, based on my license, based on everything, but I was miserable.

Diana Rene: 31:07 

Yeah.

Mel Abraham: 31:07 

But how many people stay in there because of expectations of others? And so really taking the time and saying you're with your spouse and you're going, honey, what do we really want in life? What's going to give us the joy in life, and are we on that path? If we're not on that path, where do we really want to go? Because otherwise we're chasing something that when we get to that destination. Where do we really want to go? Because, because otherwise we're chasing something that when we get to that destination, you're putting money in the bank and now, all of a sudden, you got this money machine that Mel told you to do, and but you're finding yourself in an, in a destination that isn't bringing you joy. And so I think we need to, we need to step back, and this is a perfect time to say what really matters in our life, what do we want? And now you look at that and say, if I know that I can put a price tag to it and say, what is it going to take to be there, which gives me a destination that allows me to then say, all right, now I can put a plan in place, a strategy, and then the tactics, but if we don't, then all we're doing is saying, when I say tactics, do I invest in a 401k, do I do an HSA? Do I put it in real estate? Do I put in here? Do I just put it in a savings account? Those are tactics, but if those tactics do not make us closer to the vision, then the tactics are good, but they're not good for the plan that we have in place. And so I want to start with our life. And this is a perfect time that, if you're sitting back saying I'm feeling a yearning, I'm feeling an angst, I'm feeling a stress, I'm feeling a pressure to say what really matters and there might be things that you're doing in your life that don't bring you joy don't matter and you're sitting back saying why am I prioritizing? And we can take them off off the table.

Mel Abraham: 32:52 

I was forced to do this in 2019 because of, because I got diagnosed with cancer and I had to stop everything Right. And then I had the, the gift of saying okay, as I come back and I have this clear and clean slate, what's going to give me the most joy? What do I want to put back in my life to do as a profession or as a journey? And, and and everything, and and do that because I was starting with a blank slate, right and and at some point I think we we should evaluate that, because often we find ourselves in a financial position because we're making buying decisions based upon what we see. Look, and I'm not exempt from it. You know, I bought a $900 coffee maker because I was swiping on Instagram one day. That's cool, yeah, you know, and I can order coffee. Disciplined and discerning is that if we are really clear on the filter of what matters to us, then we can start making better, more informed buying decisions, the use of our money to make that happen. So that's one piece.

Mel Abraham: 34:15 

The second piece on the other side of the equation and I think that most people are notoriously bad at this, including me, including me for and even now and that is valuing ourselves. Too often we don't ask for our worth, too often we don't own our worth, and so we may be spending on one side, but we're not getting paid what we should be getting paid for our value on the other side. So we have a double whammy there. And so, at the same time, to start asking ourselves am I owning my worth, am I asking for my worth, and are there things I can do to make me more valuable in the marketplace so I can actually increase the size of the shovel that I have to bring income in? I think when we work both sides of that equation together now, we put ourselves in a bit more of a control seat to navigate towards that financial freedom.

Diana Rene: 35:22 

Okay, I love that and I love that conversation about why are we doing what we're doing and releasing expectations of others.

Diana Rene: 35:30 

I have a friend who went to law school and she was an attorney and she hated it.

Diana Rene: 35:35 

She really wanted to be a stay at home mom and her and her husband really wanted to travel more and they never could because of her, you know, she was working like crazy at her firm and so she ended up one day she was like you know what I'm going to? We're going to start living our own life, not what you know. My parents and all my relatives and Susie from high school would think about me if I quit, you know. And so she quit and they bought like an old used RV that doesn't work, like it doesn't drive anywhere and put it in their parents' property which I know not everyone has that opportunity but so they don't pay any rent and so they're able to, number one, invest, which they weren't able to before, and they travel all the time because they just have her husband's remote job. And it was just I that was a really that stood out to me when you're talking about, you know, not living by other people's expectations and kind of thinking outside of the box, and what do you really want for your life?

Mel Abraham: 36:33 

How many people don't live their own life? And if it's more, illegal and you're not hurting someone, hey. If you want to be in a tent in Montana, go for it. Yeah, I mean, if that's what's going to bring you joy, I mean I won't be there, but yeah.

Diana Rene: 36:50 

I won't visit.

Mel Abraham: 36:53 

Give me the yacht in Monaco, I don't know. Yeah.

Diana Rene: 36:55 

So with your book it sounds to me um and you clarify this for me if not but it sounds to me like it's a really good marriage of mindset around money and feelings around money and like the actual like how to logistics side.

Mel Abraham: 37:10 

Yeah, Okay, so. So, in fact, at the in, in the introduction, I say that the book is is part money philosophy, it's part money mindset, it's part money strategy and it's part money actionable tactics. I give you the recipe, the frameworks, the processes and even the worksheets. Actually, one of the things that I did with the book because I realized, look, someone buying the book helps me possibly hit some weird list called the bestseller list. It doesn't really matter, okay, and it helps Jeff Bezos put a few bucks in his pocket. Jeff doesn't need the money, okay. So so buying the book doesn't really do anything.

Mel Abraham: 37:55 

Reading the book, okay, it'll soothe you, it'll give you hope, it'll occupy your mind. It still doesn't change your life. What I needed to do is say how do I get you to do the book? Because if I can get you to do the book, I know that will change your life because it's, it's, it's in there, and so one of the things that I did with the book is I ended up saying how do I get people to do the book? Okay, so I created a companion workbook that I'm giving to people when they buy the book, and you know, and they submit their receipt, that I know and I can send them, send them, send them the workbook and everything, because I want, I want people to do it, because if they just start doing it, it, like.

Mel Abraham: 38:37 

I said, it's simple. It just may not be easy because of your, your age, stage or circumstances. But now, all of a sudden, you're working on the mindset, because we start with the life and the mindset and the stories, and then we work on the tactics and the strategy. I give you the recipe of every dollar when it comes in. Here's the first dollar where it goes, the second, the third, the fourth, so every dollar has a job description.

Mel Abraham: 39:01 

And then, towards the end of the book, we start talking about okay, now you got this thing going. How do we make this something that lasts beyond you? How do we pass this on? How do we give the skill sets before the assets move on? And we talk about my definition of legacy, which is different, because I don't believe legacy is something we leave behind when we leave this earthly place. I don't think it's something we build to give to someone. I think legacy is what we leave within someone every time and every moment we interact, which means that we should be living our legacy daily and in that process we build something that's meaningful and then transcends our time here on Earth, and that's kind of so it really is about. The four parts of the book are understanding the journey, defining the journey, creating the journey and living the journey.

Diana Rene: 40:03 

I love that and I'm very much. The way my brain operates is. I need that step-by-step, and so I love how you have it broken down.

Mel Abraham: 40:12 

Yeah, I, what I did, uh, one of the things that I knew, uh, and I had to do this with with the, uh, the editors. As I said, I don't want this to be a a typical money book, so the frameworks in there are my hand-drawn frameworks, but also it's story-driven. It's driven. A lot of it is story-driven. Yes, there's tactics, there's numbers, there's some things in there, but I wanted to make it approachable, fun. A lot of people they don't have my education and my background, but even my education background didn't save me from losing money and rebuilding it and all that stuff. So I also wanted it to be something that was real and not theoretical. It's everything I live, the good, the bad, the ugly, so you learn from all of it.

Diana Rene: 40:58 

I love it. It's not a textbook.

Mel Abraham: 41:00 

No, heck, no, Not at all the editor or the publisher when they asked for the manuscript. Um, I sent them the manuscript and a week later that the gal that was reading it said I'm only halfway through. She said I I cannot believe the kind of emotional rollercoaster of of promise and hope that you have had me on. I had no idea a money book would be like this and we can, we talk and so that's how I ended up getting into the publishing deal.

Diana Rene: 41:31 

I love that. That's awesome. Well, Mel, I really appreciate you coming on today, and I know that anyone listening is feeling the same way, because you just make. Something I told my husband is that you just make money, feel approachable and like investing. Feel approachable, and it doesn't often, you know, it feels very complicated and above my head, and so you have been such a help to me in my own life and my money journey. So what we're going to do is we're going to buy 20 books, and so, if you're listening to this on the day it comes out which that's when most people listen to the episodes is the day it releases head to my Instagram stories, we're going to have a giveaway to get 20 books out to some of my listeners. So I'm really excited about that, and I just wanted to do that because I wanted to thank you for the time you have taken with me out of your free time to be able to help me with all my random questions.

Mel Abraham: 42:27 

Oh my gosh, thank you so much and and absolutely so. Here's what I can do those 20 people, before we get them the books. If you get me the addresses, I will send them a, a signed booklet plate, so they will have a, a book that is signed, so they can stick it on the inside cover and we'll make sure that we get it that way, I love that and I. They can stick it on the inside cover and we'll make sure that we get it that way.

Diana Rene: 42:47 

I love that and I you know. I know you said silly bestsellers, but I hope that you make that because you deserve it and I really. Everything I've ever heard you say about money has just made things kind of click and make sense, and so I can't wait for more people to to hear everything that you have to say, and I think it's going to help so many people.

Mel Abraham: 43:09 

Oh my God, thank you, thank you so much?

Diana Rene: 43:09 

Absolutely Well, Mel. Where can people buy it? If they were, they're just wanting to jump in and get it I'm assuming Amazon anywhere else?

Mel Abraham: 43:17 

Yeah. So the best place to go is to yourmoneymachinebook.com, and here's why on there you will see that you have all the different retailers. So whether you're in Canada, whether you're in the UK, Australia, you'll have a retailer for you where you can get the book, and then you can come back and put the receipt in. And when you put the receipt in, that's when I can get you the workbook, the action guide, plus a couple of other gifts that will help you build faster. There are resources for free, including my investing simplified course, a five-part course that will just break it down for you, so you don't have to get all crazy and confused

Diana Rene: 43:56 

Perfect, awesome, okay, great, and then we're going to. you're driving while you're listening to this and you can't type that in right now, we'll put all of that in the show notes for you. But, Mel, again, thank you so much for coming on and I wish you the best of luck with this launch.

Mel Abraham: 44:11 

Thank you so much.

Diana Rene: 44:13 

Thanks for hanging out and listening to The Decluttered Mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram stories. And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow me at thedeclutteredmom and send me a DM to say hi. I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.