Episode 005: Guest Interview - Sabra

[00:00:00] Diana Rene

You're listening to The Decluttered Mom Podcast. A podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm your host, Diana Renee, and in 2017, I had my second daughter, and it felt like I was literally drowning in my home. Okay. Not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me over the next ten months.

[00:00:29] Diana Rene

I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings, and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system, and I'm here to share all the tips, tricks, and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show.

[00:00:46] Diana Rene

I have with me here Sabra, and she is a member of Minimal-ish Starts Here. And Sabra, first of all, welcome. 

[00:00:55] Sabra Martin

Thank you. 

[00:00:56] Diana Rene

We have tiny little newborn baby noises in the background, which I'm obsessed with. 

[00:01:01] Sabra Martin

That we do, she's six weeks old. 

[00:01:04] Diana Rene

Aww. And she, you said she's your third? 

[00:01:06] Sabra Martin

She's my third. I have a four-year-old daughter and a two-year-old son, and then little Vivian, here is my third. And hopefully my last. 

[00:01:14] Diana Rene

Yeah. How is the transition going from two to three? 

[00:01:19] Sabra Martin

The first few weeks were really hard. The transition from one to two was very easy for me cause my kids were 19 months apart. 

[00:01:26] Diana Rene

Okay. 

[00:01:27] Sabra Martin

And now they're a little more closer to three. About two to three years apart. Um, so that was harder. 

[00:01:36] Diana Rene

Was it? 

[00:01:37] Sabra Martin

I feel like we're, yeah, it really was. I feel like I'm getting into a groove, though. My, my two older ones are getting used to her. So that works. 

[00:01:45] Diana Rene

Yeah. Right. I know like who's this new human taking all of mom's attention. 

[00:01:50] Sabra Martin

Yeah. My four-year-old thought she was her personal baby doll, and my 

two-year-old was just kind of like. Eh, Okay, cool. 

[00:01:57] Diana Rene

Right. Okay. I'm so curious. You said that like having the first two, so close together was easier versus the three-year gap? Um

[00:02:08] Sabra Martin

Yes. 

[00:02:08] Diana Rene

And that interests me because mine are three years apart, and I always thought that that was like an easier thing than having 'em closer, just because like my three-year-old was old enough to be able to like tell me how she was feeling. And she was able to like help me a little bit. Um, but you think it's the opposite? 

[00:02:28] Sabra Martin

I think it's because just having to juggle three tiny human's needs at the same time. 

[00:02:34] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:02:35] Sabra Martin

Or trying to like prioritize whose needs need to come first and whose can wait. 

[00:02:41] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:02:41] Sabra Martin

Uh, my four-year-old, she, that has been true for her. If I didn't have my two-year-old, it would be a little different. 

[00:02:48] Diana Rene

Okay. 

[00:02:48] Sabra Martin

Um, I think it's because we've been outta that baby phase for two and a half years. Whereas whenever I had my son, my daughter still was a baby to me. She was 

[00:03:00] Diana Rene

Right. 

[00:03:01] Sabra Martin

Only 19 months old. So it felt like a like we already were in the groove of doing baby things.

[00:03:06] Sabra Martin

Yeah. 

[00:03:07] Sabra Martin

Whereas I know two years isn't a long time to be out of the baby phase, but. You kind of forget some stuff. 

[00:03:13] Diana Rene

Oh, I think it is. It's like, if you have like a week of more sleep, you're like you forget that phase. 

[00:03:20] Sabra Martin

Absolutely. 

[00:03:22] Diana Rene

Well, that makes sense. Okay. 

[00:03:23] Diana Rene

Um, so how long ago did you join the program? 

[00:03:28] Sabra Martin

I wanna say I believe, oh goodness. It was a few trying to think. I joined when I was pregnant at like 32 or 33 weeks. 

[00:03:41] Diana Rene

Okay. 

[00:03:41] Sabra Martin

I had my daughter at 36 weeks. 

[00:03:43] Diana Rene

Okay. 

[00:03:43] Sabra Martin

Um, so that was like right in the middle of my really strong nesting period. 

[00:03:50] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:03:50] Sabra Martin

And I kept having this feeling. She was coming early, so I was like, we gotta get this house on lock. Like we gotta get this taken care of, whoop them to shape. Cuz I cannot function like this. 

[00:04:01] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:04:03] Sabra Martin

Um, so. I believe that was like at the end of December, middle January, whenever I joined. 

[00:04:10] Diana Rene

About three or four months ago? 

[00:04:11] Sabra Martin

Yeah. 

[00:04:12] Diana Rene

Ish . 

[00:04:14] Sabra Martin

Yeah. 

[00:04:14] Diana Rene

Um, and you know what, it's really funny that you said that because I have found that so many women, who may be like were following me on Instagram for a couple years and like, thinking about the program and then they're like, no, I don't think I need the program. I think I can figure it out on my own. Um, and then there get pregnant, and then they, that nesting phase, and then they join. They're like, okay. 

[00:04:36] Sabra Martin

It's strong, those nesting urger they just like, they take over, and you're like, something's gotta give.

[00:04:42] Diana Rene

Yep. 

[00:04:42] Sabra Martin

And then you need someone to tell you what to do, so. 

[00:04:45] Diana Rene

Yeah. Right. Yeah, exactly. Um, so when you were talking about how you felt like you just had to like get the house in order before the baby came. 

[00:04:56] Sabra Martin

Yes. 

[00:04:56] Diana Rene

Um, tell me more about that. Tell me more about kind of like how you were feeling in your home prior to decluttering.

[00:05:05] Sabra Martin

Prior to decluttering, we, it just felt like pure chaos. 

[00:05:10] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:05:10] Sabra Martin

Especially during my pregnancy, I was really sick. Um, my entire pregnancy with her, so. 

[00:05:16] Diana Rene

Oh, man. 

[00:05:16] Sabra Martin

I had to fall behind on my closing duties and like morning AM pick-up duties. My husband was working more since I was sick, and he was able to help more with the kids. And it just felt like chaos all the time. Like we couldn't get a handle on things. Um, 

[00:05:31] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:05:32] Sabra Martin

And one thing that I believe it was a reel that you had on Instagram where you're saying how you and your husband were tired of spending your weekends just all weekend cleaning. 

[00:05:43] Diana Rene

Mm-hmm

[00:05:44] Sabra Martin

I believe that's what it was. And I made my husband watch that, and I was like, she has a solution. I need that because that's where we were at is, we were wasting our entire weekends just cleaning. And I was so tired of telling our kids like we can't play right now cuz dada and mama are cleaning. 

[00:05:59] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:05:59] Sabra Martin

And I told my husband, I just want to enjoy our weekends with our children and his weekends actually to be restful before he goes back to work. So. 

[00:06:10] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:06:10] Sabra Martin

That was kinda our breaking. 

[00:06:12] Diana Rene

How did he react to that? 

[00:06:14] Sabra Martin

He was, see, I'm the queen of like purging things on a regular basis. So I annoy him a lot with that. Um, he's more sentimental and holds onto things, and he's been very much like Sabra, we have tried to declutter before. Why do we need to pay for a program? Like, why are you doing this? And I was like, listen, we're at the point, we just need someone to tell us what to do. 

[00:06:35] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:06:35] Sabra Martin

Because we do it on our own, and then we bring more stuff into our house, and then we have to restart. So. I believe I just texted him while he was at work. And I was like, Hey, just so you know, I'm doing this, it's on sale right now, um, and you know, what, if anything, we're out the money, but maybe it'll just kick us off into something great. And he was like, I'm not arguing with my 32-week pregnant wife. So, 

[00:07:00] Diana Rene

He's like, I've learned, I know better. Right. 

[00:07:02] Sabra Martin

He knows me very well. And he knows I'm gonna drag him on board whether he likes it or not. So, yeah. 

[00:07:07] Diana Rene

Okay. So that's interesting because I have found that, I mean, this isn't like a hard and fast rule. Obviously, there's going to be outliers, but I have found it's very common for in, in marriages. Or partnerships that there tends to be one person who can easily let go or is naturally more tidy or more inclined towards being an organized person.

[00:07:34] Diana Rene

Um, and then there's a second person who has a really hard time letting go and holds on to things and may be more naturally messy or have a harder time with keeping a tidy space in general. Um, and, and it, I don't think that like, it's been pretty 50, 50 as far as like who in the relationship fills that role. Um, but I have found that when one spouse wants to declutter, and the other one doesn't, it can create a lot of issues, and a lot of tension may be that you don't even realize is there. UN until you're like trying to get your house more in order. 

[00:08:13] Sabra Martin

Absolutely. Yeah. Luckily I'm my husband was not like that.

[00:08:17] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:08:17] Sabra Martin

Um, but that's cuz he is used to my crazy wanting to purge everything in my house. 

[00:08:22] Diana Rene

Okay. So he said years of practice of 

[00:08:25] Sabra Martin

Yeah. 

[00:08:26] Diana Rene

Working with you on that. 

[00:08:27] Sabra Martin

Absolutely. And uh, we both have ADHD, so we're both. I mean, not all people with ADHD are messy people, but yeah, we definitely are. 

[00:08:36] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:08:37] Sabra Martin

He's on the side of ADHD, where everything holds value. And then for me, I'm just like, if I see something messy like my first urge is just to get rid of it all. 

[00:08:46] Diana Rene

Right. 

[00:08:47] Sabra Martin

Like obviously, if I get rid of it all, it won't be messy anymore. 

[00:08:50] Diana Rene

Right. 

[00:08:50] Sabra Martin

Um, But he was actually. Once I purchased the program, we started. I told him you're going through this with me because we're a team. Um, it's not just me. We both work. So, 

[00:09:02] Diana Rene

Okay. 

[00:09:03] Sabra Martin

We both hold the responsibilities in our house, and he was on board. And we sat down, and we watched everything together. We did the entire program together. And once we did that, he was fully on board, and we knocked out our decluttering our entire house within a week.

[00:09:18] Diana Rene

Oh my gosh. That's fast. 

[00:09:20] Sabra Martin

Again, ADHD fixation. We are both fixated on doing that. 

[00:09:24] Diana Rene

Yep 

[00:09:25] Sabra Martin

um, which is, you know, that's our superpower we say is once we fixate on something, we're a powerhouse. So, um, and plus, we didn't have much time before our little miss was here at that point. It was only four weeks, and we didn't know it.

[00:09:38] Diana Rene

Yeah. Oh my gosh. So you had like a fire lit under you? 

[00:09:43] Sabra Martin

Yes. 

[00:09:44] Sabra Martin

Yeah. We pawned off the older ones on grandparents, and we just, you know, we had a lot of screen time during that week. 

[00:09:51] Diana Rene

Yep. 

[00:09:52] Sabra Martin

Yeah. 

[00:09:52] Diana Rene

Were you, um, you mentioned that you both work. Do you work full time? 

[00:09:57] Sabra Martin

Yes, I'm a full-time teacher. Um, however, I teach from home virtually.

[00:10:01] Diana Rene

Okay. Uhhuh. 

[00:10:02] Sabra Martin

So what's funny is before the program, I have an office in our house, but I haven't used my office in months cuz it became our catchall space. 

[00:10:10] Diana Rene

Okay. 

[00:10:11] Sabra Martin

And I couldn't even walk to my desk. It was so cluttered. So I had been working at my kitchen table, and it just wasn't a conducive environment for teaching.

[00:10:21] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:10:21] Sabra Martin

Especially when I need multiple monitors, and I was staring at the mess from breakfast still and, you know, 

[00:10:27] Sabra Martin

mm-hmm 

[00:10:28] Sabra Martin

So that was one thing my husband was very excited to do the program for was he was like, I'm excited for you to have your office space back. So you can feel like functional and the best teacher that you are. Um, 

[00:10:39] Diana Rene

yeah. 

[00:10:40] Sabra Martin

And I got that, so I was very happy. 

[00:10:43] Diana Rene

Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So I'm so curious about this one-week thing because that's not normal, like that's 

[00:10:49] Sabra Martin

Right. 

[00:10:50] Diana Rene

That's not average, right? 

[00:10:51] Sabra Martin

Yes. 

[00:10:51] Diana Rene

Um, I would say most like I would say. I get this question all the time of how long the program takes. And I would say that like the very quickest I've ever heard someone go through it is one weekend, and she had three teenagers.

[00:11:06] Sabra Martin

Yes. 

[00:11:07] Diana Rene

And they rented like a dumpster that was put in their driveway. And she like got everyone involved and like, they just did it in two days. Um, but. So, this is the second, though. This is the second quickest I've ever heard it done. And then, um, I would say probably more average is three to four months. 

[00:11:24] Sabra Martin

Right.

[00:11:24] Diana Rene

Especially for working women or people who are working out of the home, um, or in the home, but a full-time job, so, okay. So when you did it in one week, were you just doing it in like the evenings and then on the weekend, how did that. 

[00:11:39] Sabra Martin

Yes. Um, mostly it'd be once my husband got home from work. 

[00:11:44] Diana Rene

Okay. 

[00:11:44] Sabra Martin

Like immediately, once he got home from work, we would feed our kids. And then, after the kids were fed, I would, you know, get an activity together for them to do or their tablets. And then we would just start in a room, whatever room was in the program, I will be honest and say, the only room that isn't done in our house is our garage. 

[00:12:02] Diana Rene

Yes. 

[00:12:02] Sabra Martin

But that's because my baby came and we haven't had a chance.

[00:12:05] Diana Rene

Yep. 

[00:12:07] Sabra Martin

So, um, 

[00:12:08] Diana Rene

um, and garages, you know, like, the they're at the very end of the program for a reason because 

[00:12:13] Sabra Martin

yep. 

[00:12:14] Diana Rene

Garages and basements, and honestly, like you just talked about, um, offices or guest rooms tend to get this way also. 

[00:12:20] Sabra Martin

Yes. 

[00:12:21] Diana Rene

Um, is where all the things that we don't know what to do with go to die, right?

[00:12:26] Sabra Martin

Yeah. We waited. We did the office last cause I just kept putting it off, and I was like, I don't wanna do that one next. And he was like, we really need to do it. And so that was the one that we did, I believe. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I guess I was 30. So I purchased the program at 32 weeks, and it took me like a week before I watched all the videos. So I would say it's about 34 weeks that we actually did it. 

[00:12:49] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:12:49] Sabra Martin

And that was the room we did last. And then, a few days later, I went into labor. So 

[00:12:53] Diana Rene

oh my gosh. Well, that was good timing. 

[00:12:56] Sabra Martin

Very good. Yeah. 

[00:12:57] Diana Rene

Um, so you said, you said before that you would, you teach from home full time, and so you're on zoom. Um, and prior to like the office, just kind of being a disaster, you were doing it from the kitchen table. And you still had like breakfast to clean up and like all this stuff around. Can you talk a little bit about how the difference between like mentally or emotionally, or even like productivity-wise, your, your time working from the kitchen table amidst all this stuff versus your office that has been fully decluttered?

[00:13:31] Sabra Martin

Oh, my goodness. It's been a world of a difference 

[00:13:34] Diana Rene

Uhhuh. 

[00:13:35] Sabra Martin

Um, I, especially, again, as being a person with diagnosed ADHD, if I see any clutter or any, just any sensory input, visually, audibly, is very overwhelming to me. 

[00:13:48] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:13:49] Sabra Martin

So trying to sit here and teach a zoom classroom full of 12 or 16 students. And I just, my mind wanders, I can't focus on my lesson.

[00:14:01] Diana Rene

Mm-hmm 

[00:14:02] Sabra Martin

um, I was feeling myself, feeling anxious like once the lesson was done, even though I was on working hours, I was like, okay, I'll just take a 30-minute break and like clean up real fast. 

[00:14:12] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:14:12] Sabra Martin

Um, or I'll try to tidy up my living room. So it was definitely breaking into my work time. 

[00:14:19] Diana Rene

Right. 

[00:14:19] Sabra Martin

Whereas when my office has been decluttered, I can just go in there and I have my beautiful desk and two monitors set up. I can close the door. And I don't see the distraction. We don't, you know, things don't get picked up every single morning. Um, so there's still a little bit of mess from breakfast. Sometimes my kids leave out just the toys I'm playing with in the morning before they go to their daycare program. So just having that space where I can close the door, and it's clean, everything's in its home.

[00:14:50] Diana Rene

Mm-hmm 

[00:14:50] Sabra Martin

um, makes a world of a difference for my own mental health and brain. 

[00:14:55] Diana Rene

Yeah. You know, and it's really interesting because there was a study done on how clutter affects women specifically. It like, it literally raises cortisol, which is our stress hormone. 

[00:15:08] Sabra Martin

I feel that. 

[00:15:10] Diana Rene

Yeah. Right. And you said that you are diagnosed ADHD. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. 

[00:15:19] Sabra Martin

Welcome to the family. 

[00:15:20] Diana Rene

Yeah, 

[00:15:21] Sabra Martin

It's great. 

[00:15:22] Diana Rene

At age 37. Really late life. Um, and now it's like, oh my gosh, my entire life makes so much more sense. 

[00:15:32] Sabra Martin

Right. 

[00:15:32] Diana Rene

You know? 

[00:15:33] Sabra Martin

Yes. 

[00:15:33] Diana Rene

Um, but I would. I wish there was a study on how, uh, clutter affected people with ADHD. Like compared to the average person, just because most people or all people do have that like stress response to clutter.

[00:15:52] Sabra Martin

Right. 

[00:15:52] Diana Rene

And I wonder how much elevated if any, I don't know. But, um, someone with ADHD reacts to that. Um, and I think that improving our homes as far as like getting rid of the excess is going to help anybody, because it does take away like that mental, uh, burden, like of like all your like to-do list that's hanging over you. Right. 

[00:16:15] Sabra Martin

Right.

[00:16:16] Diana Rene

That's like staring you right in the face. But with ADHD, I think it's just another level of like. It can be really hard for someone with executive dysfunction to like manage their home. Yes. Cause it's a lot of multistep. Processes, right? 

[00:16:34] Sabra Martin

Yes. That's, and I struggle probably the most with executive dysfunction. I am the queen of like starting a project and finishing the project, but then I'll leave like the toolbox out with the tools in it, or like, I don't put my paint away, and we've been actually, I dunno if you've heard of the book, the Fairplay Method. 

[00:16:54] Diana Rene

Yes, but I have. 

[00:16:55] Sabra Martin

Okay. My husband and I have been reading through that and working through that, and that has been a game changer cuz we didn't realize like holding a task 

[00:17:02] Diana Rene

mm-hmm 

[00:17:02] Sabra Martin

or just something like it involves like the execution and actually putting away of the items. So full tasks. So I'm telling you whenever I started your program, I was doing, like, I was reading that book along with another book. I was actually diagnosed with ADHD um, last November. 

[00:17:22] Diana Rene

Okay. 

[00:17:23] Sabra Martin

So I have been like, again, fixating on my ADHD diagnosis. 

[00:17:29] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:17:29] Sabra Martin

And figuring out how does my brain work? How can I make my house functional for me?

[00:17:34] Diana Rene

Yep 

[00:17:35] Sabra Martin

and not be functioning for my own household. How can I make our space ADHD-friendly, maybe? 

[00:17:41] Diana Rene

Yep 

[00:17:41] Sabra Martin

I mean, it's not gonna look typical for a neurotypical person. 

[00:17:45] Diana Rene

Yep. 

[00:17:46] Sabra Martin

Um, but if it's something that works for my husband and I, who both have ADHD, my daughter has sensory processing disorder. So we're just a huge house of neuro divergency.

[00:17:56] Diana Rene

yeah. 

[00:17:56] Sabra Martin

We found some systems, though. We've used the tools in our toolkit, one being your decluttering program and some books, and that's made a world of a difference. 

[00:18:05] Diana Rene

I love that. So I'm in the process of becoming a certified professional organizer also. 

[00:18:12] Sabra Martin

Oh. 

[00:18:12] Diana Rene

Because I want to take it like that next level, right. Like, 

[00:18:16] Sabra Martin

right. 

[00:18:17] Diana Rene

I've been living for years now with this like decluttered household. And I've been able to like implement some organizational systems, but I want, but, but it's what works for me in my brain. And now, now I know my ADHD brain. 

[00:18:32] Sabra Martin

Yes. 

[00:18:32] Diana Rene

Which is a lot of like open container type organizing. 

[00:18:36] Sabra Martin

Yes, nice. You can see what, yep.

[00:18:38] Diana Rene

Yep. Because if it's behind or if it's in a box like I forget that it's there. Um, 

[00:18:44] Sabra Martin

Do you have doom boxes as well? 

[00:18:45] Diana Rene

Yes, I actually 

[00:18:47] Sabra Martin

All around the house 

[00:18:48] Diana Rene

That's so funny because when you said ADHD, I wrote down doom box or doom boxes, doom baskets, question mark 

[00:18:55] Sabra Martin

We call it our Chuck it baskets. 

[00:18:57] Diana Rene

Yep 

[00:18:57] Sabra Martin

so if we don't have a place for it, we throw it in there, and then we try to go through it every week.

[00:19:02] Diana Rene

Yeah, I know. Okay. So for anyone listening, who does not have ADHD or has not gone down the rabbit hole of what ADHD is or does, a doom basket is essentially like a box or a basket of like, just stuff, because you know that you don't want it out in, in your face. So you like just put it in a basket, but there's no like rhyme or reason to it. So nothing makes sense. It's just. It's like essentially a really big junk drawer all over there. 

[00:19:29] Sabra Martin

It is multiple junk drawers, but it looks pretty in a well-contained basket. 

[00:19:34] Diana Rene

Yeah. Exactly. Um, and I have found with ADHD, um, again, not like. Not for everyone, but as a general rule, that like more macro organizing works versus micro organizing.

[00:19:47] Sabra Martin

Yes. 

[00:19:47] Diana Rene

And what I mean by that is like, all of the batteries are gonna go in this one box versus like only triple a batteries go in this box and then, you know, nine volts go in this box. And so I know what works for me, but I want to be able to help as many people as I can after they go through, Minimalish Starts Here with like then this next level of organization.

[00:20:12] Diana Rene

And I know that like that, my brain doesn't work for everyone with organizing. So, long story short, I'm becoming, um, certified to be able to help people with that next step. But I just think that's fascinating that you also got this late-life diagnosis. 

[00:20:31] Sabra Martin

Yes. Yeah. The majority of my life now makes sense that I've been diagnosed.

[00:20:35] Sabra Martin

It makes so much sense why I've done the things that I've done and why my brain, I fixate on hobbies and I always turn hobbies into businesses. And then, as soon I start making money from it, I quit it because it's no longer fun. Which is one of the reasons why my office was so overwhelming to me was cuz it was another, I don't wanna say failed business, cause I was actually really successful. I just got tired of doing it. 

[00:20:56] Diana Rene

yeah. 

[00:20:56] Sabra Martin

So I quit, and I had all this business stuff in my office, and it kind of was a reminder, like there's just another failed hobby for me or like another, but my husband was the one who was like, you need to work through that and emotionally process, like that was the end of that for you. And you feel mentally better because you stopped and 

[00:21:12] Diana Rene

yeah. 

[00:21:12] Sabra Martin

Um, But definitely, oh, ADHD changes everything how you function. 

[00:21:20] Diana Rene

Yes, I know. Um, When, where, where I was going, I totally like lost my train of thought before about 

[00:21:27] Sabra Martin

ADHD. 

[00:21:28] Diana Rene

Yeah, yeah, exactly. About the organizing, but where I was going with that entire spiel about becoming certified is that when I, when I create this organizing, uh, resource for, it's gonna be only for people who have gone through Minimalish Starts Here because 

[00:21:44] Diana Rene

I have to ask, can I get it?

[00:21:46] Diana Rene

Yeah. You have like, you have to get rid of the stuff. I say it all the time. You can't organize clutter. Right. But there's going to be like an ADHD edition. I think of that because when we when we have ADHD. I think just organizing is so different for than most people. 

[00:22:05] Sabra Martin

Absolutely. Especially when you said the macro organizing after we decluttered, especially my kids' bedroom, I actually sold their large toy box. That was kinda like a catchall space for them. 

[00:22:16] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:22:16] Sabra Martin

And I went to dollar tree and got some plastic bins and, you know, whipped out my cutting machine and cut out some little symbols and labeled those bins. And I sorted all our toys out just by macro category. And now my kids play ten times better. 

[00:22:33] Diana Rene

Yeah.

[00:22:34] Sabra Martin

Because they can find the exact bin with the exact toys they want, and they can see that image and clean it up when they're done as well. 

[00:22:41] Sabra Martin

Yep 

[00:22:41] Sabra Martin

so that's how we've like done our entire house. 

[00:22:44] Diana Rene

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I love that. Okay. So you have had, you have three kids 

[00:22:49] Sabra Martin

mm-hmm. 

[00:22:51] Diana Rene

The first two you mentioned before that you ha you're just like, you're you normally like to purge you like to go through and get rid of stuff.

[00:23:00] Sabra Martin

Yeah. 

[00:23:00] Diana Rene

But it never really stuck. Do you think that's because you were not ruthless enough or what, like, what do you think was happening there? 

[00:23:10] Sabra Martin

Definitely, especially with having now three kids, um, cuz our children are very loved and very blessed by their grandparents and great grandparents. So there was a lot of things coming into our house and a lot of it, you know, my kids would play with for a week, and then they'd lose interest and they just always go back to their, you know, their favorites.

[00:23:31] Sabra Martin

I'm sure your kids do that too 

[00:23:34] Diana Rene

Uhhuh. 

[00:23:34] Sabra Martin

And I felt like I couldn't get rid of stuff because it was gifted to us. 

[00:23:39] Diana Rene

Mm-hmm 

[00:23:40] Sabra Martin

or I, it held value. Maybe it wasn't like the highest of value item, but I, since it was a gift, I felt that it had value and I had to be grateful for that and keep it, but I've, I've learned that you can be thankful for the love. Someone shows your children, um, and everyone's love language is different. Some may be gifts. But, that doesn't mean it has to hold space in your home. 

[00:24:03] Diana Rene

Right. 

[00:24:04] Sabra Martin

Um, so since doing the program, I've been much more ruthless with letting things go that come into our home because if it's not something that I gave permission to come into my home, to begin with, then that's not trying to be rude to our family or anything. Um, it's just, I'm very selective with what comes into our home and what stays. 

[00:24:22] Diana Rene

Right. 

[00:24:22] Sabra Martin

So 

[00:24:23] Diana Rene

You have to be. 

[00:24:24] Sabra Martin

My husband's the one. Yes, my husband's more. He's the one that. But my a grandparent bought this like they're gonna, their feelings are gonna be so hurt. I'm like, they're never gonna see this toy again. 

[00:24:33] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:24:34] Sabra Martin

They bought it for our kid to see that smile on their face for a minute. Um, and then it comes into our house, and they never see that toy again, so 

[00:24:41] Diana Rene

Right. 

[00:24:42] Sabra Martin

You know? 

[00:24:43] Diana Rene

Well, and I think it goes in line with like their, somewhere along the way, we created these myths or false rules that like, you must hold on to a gift for X amount of time. 

[00:24:56] Sabra Martin

Yes. 

[00:24:56] Diana Rene

In order to be grateful. Right.

[00:24:59] Sabra Martin

Mm-hmm , 

[00:24:59] Diana Rene

But who decides that? And that's gonna be different for every single person. So we've put these like arbitrary rules on like something that doesn't exist. So like, if you hold onto something that you hate and you toss it in your closet for a year, does that make you more grateful? Like saying thank you and hugging the person and then when you get home donating it.

[00:25:23] Sabra Martin

Absolutely. Yep. 

[00:25:24] Diana Rene

You know, so like, um, I think once we start looking at, a lot of just things that we were just, um, maybe not even taught, maybe we were, but just what we've always had modeled for us or that we've just seen in our culture. We think we have to hold on to everything for any possible reason.

[00:25:45] Sabra Martin

Right. It's also that like fear mentality that will maybe at some point I'll need this, or, but that was something that was huge for us. Um, I Was thinking about, like, have I used this in a certain amount of time? 

[00:25:59] Diana Rene

Mm-hmm 

[00:26:00] Sabra Martin

Am I going to use it in the next few weeks? Uh, and if I haven't, is it easily replaceable? That was one thing we kept saying over and over again while doing your program was, is this easily replaceable? If it is, and it's fairly inexpensive, then why are we holding onto it? Cause we haven't used it in a year. 

[00:26:17] Diana Rene

Right. 

[00:26:18] Sabra Martin

And we have, we've only had one item since decluttering that we had to repurchase.

[00:26:23] Sabra Martin

Cause we. Patio lights. 

[00:26:26] Diana Rene

What was it? 

[00:26:27] Sabra Martin

Patio lights. 

[00:26:28] Diana Rene

Patio lights. Okay. 

[00:26:30] Sabra Martin

We have had these this box of patio lights for two years now, but we never like made the backyard a project to hang them up. 

[00:26:40] Diana Rene

Mm-hmm 

[00:26:40] Sabra Martin

So we donated them, and we are currently working on our backyard, and I'm we had to buy patio lights again.

[00:26:47] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:26:49] Sabra Martin

But you know what? They were fairly inexpensive, and it, you know, it took away space from our laundry room that was just hanging out, so, 

[00:26:59] Diana Rene

yep. And now you know that you really need them, right? 

[00:27:02] Sabra Martin

Yep. 

[00:27:03] Diana Rene

Yep. There were two things for me it was a curling iron, um, and a spatula because I went a little crazy in my kitchen, and I got rid of like all spatulas.

[00:27:14] Sabra Martin

Oh yeah? 

[00:27:15] Diana Rene

And I was like, hold on, one spatula. And I curl my hair like twice a year. So I was like, okay, I guess I have to go buy my like $12 curling iron again. Um, but that's so true because there's so many. And, but then like compare that to the list of all the things that you got rid of that you. 

[00:27:34] Sabra Martin

Exactly. Oh, we got rid of bags and bags, so yes. 

[00:27:38] Diana Rene

And like, think about how many of those were items that previously you maybe would've held onto, because what if you'd needed it later? Um, but you really evaluated that, and you got rid of so much stuff compared to that one thing that you had to buy. 

[00:27:54] Sabra Martin

And that was like a random thing. If we wouldn't have redone our backyards just in the last week, we wouldn't have bought patio lights for a long time. 

[00:28:01] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:28:01] Sabra Martin

It was just the fact that I'm now fixating all my backyard and getting my garden ready, and I thought I want some patio lights. 

[00:28:07] Diana Rene

Yep, exactly. Where, where are you located? 

[00:28:11] Sabra Martin

Um, I live in Oklahoma, in the Tulsa area.

[00:28:14] Diana Rene

Okay. 

[00:28:14] Diana Rene

So is it already feeling like spring there? 

[00:28:17] Sabra Martin

Oh yeah. It's 80 degrees today. 

[00:28:19] Diana Rene

Oh, nice. Okay. Yeah, we keep going back and forth. I'm in Colorado, and we'll get like two to three really nice spring-like days. And then we get a blizzard, then we go back.

[00:28:29] Diana Rene

Isn't it lovely? 

[00:28:30] Diana Rene

So I think we're supposed to get another blizzard in a couple days, but 

[00:28:34] Sabra Martin

Oh my gosh, 

[00:28:35] Diana Rene

Get outside and enjoy this pretend spring right now.

[00:28:38] Sabra Martin

Oh, for real. That's what we call Oklahoma. Pretend spring. So we'll have like 80 degrees per week, and then it goes to the high nineties, low one hundreds. 

[00:28:46] Diana Rene

Oh, my gosh. So it's like summer. 

[00:28:48] Sabra Martin

Yeah. Yeah. Basically, we don't get a long spring. 

[00:28:50] Diana Rene

Yeah. Um, so when you had your two previous or not previous, but your two older kids mm-hmm um, and they were newborns. What was that experience like in your home versus, now after you have like fully decluttered and you have this third newborn, what is the difference in just how you feel in your home or how you're able to function in your home?

[00:29:17] Sabra Martin

With my first two? Um, our living situation was a little different. 

[00:29:22] Diana Rene

Okay. 

[00:29:23] Sabra Martin

Um, especially with my second, we were living with my grandmother, we had just moved back to Oklahoma, and we're searching for jobs. 

[00:29:30] Diana Rene

Okay. 

[00:29:31] Sabra Martin

And that was really hard cuz all of our stuff was confined to just one bedroom. 

[00:29:36] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:29:36] Sabra Martin

And our stuff was basically leaking out all over her house. 

[00:29:40] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:29:41] Sabra Martin

Um, so I held a lot of guilt and shame for that because I, I already felt like I was intruding on someone's space.

[00:29:48] Diana Rene

Mm-hmm 

[00:29:48] Sabra Martin

And then we brought an entire another human being into her space, which I mean, well, my grandmother is that she wasn't thinking that way, but my brain was thinking that way. 

[00:29:57] Diana Rene

Right. 

[00:29:58] Sabra Martin

But with that, with every baby, you know, you get gifts, and things come into your home, and you just bring things into your home. Especially with my third, we've had to get a lot cuz I got rid of a lot. 

[00:30:09] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:30:10] Sabra Martin

Um, not thinking again, ruthless purger. The difference is I was able to come into my home with my baby. Make a minimalist list of what I was missing. Just get those few items and know that the rest of my space was clear and ready for her, especially with her coming a whole month early.

[00:30:31] Sabra Martin

And we weren't, I had a gut feeling, but we weren't expecting that. And we definitely were not prepared or ready. We had a bassinet. That was it. 

[00:30:38] Diana Rene

Okay. 

[00:30:38] Sabra Martin

Um, we had no clothes for her, especially with her being a preemie. She was in preemie size clothing, had nothing ready for her, but it was so nice to come home from the hospital when we weren't expecting to have a baby and not come home to a disaster.

[00:30:52] Diana Rene

Right. 

[00:30:54] Sabra Martin

It, I mean, it needed, picked up. There were still toys out from when we rushed to the hospital and, um, just little things that needed to be put back in their home. But that took us 10 minutes. Once we got home from the hospital. Um, and that was my husband. The first thing he said, he was like, that took us 10 minutes to clean up our space.

[00:31:10] Sabra Martin

And I was here sitting in the hospital thinking, oh, our home was. Disgusting right now, we are gonna have to clean so much when we get home, it's not ready to bring a newborn into. And then we got home, we picked up, and he goes, oh, that wasn't that bad. 

[00:31:22] Diana Rene

yeah. 

[00:31:23] Sabra Martin

So it saved us time with cleaning our space and taking care of a baby. Um, everything has a home, so I know exactly where to find her wipes and her diapers. And they're not just like scattered all over the place. That's been the biggest difference I would say is knowing that everything has a home and where that home is so I can locate items faster. 

[00:31:44] Diana Rene

Yeah. Well, and that's a huge difference, especially when you do have a slightly older kid that could help you, um, because you can be like, Hey, can you go get a diaper? And they're not like where I don't know where the diaper is. 

[00:31:58] Sabra Martin

Yep. That's that's very accurate.

[00:32:02] Diana Rene

Yeah. Um, and with working full time, do you, have you started into like the whole habit systems and routines aspect yet? Or have you, are you not quite there? 

[00:32:14] Sabra Martin

We have a little bit, um, especially with we did the habits, um, challenge that you had for the members.

[00:32:24] Sabra Martin

However, the second day into it, I was sent to the hospital with gallbladder attacks. So we kinda stopped at day two.

[00:32:32] Diana Rene

Oh, man.

[00:32:32] Sabra Martin

Um, but we have started our habits of the weekly cleaning, and just like our AM and PM pick-up that in itself, my husband, especially with the PM pick-up, we were looking at that and seeing it as more of a reward to ourself.

[00:32:49] Diana Rene

Mm-hmm 

[00:32:49] Sabra Martin

for the next morning of, if we do all this, now it's gonna make our morning way smoother. He 100% agrees. There was one day that we didn't get the kids' backpacks ready. Um, it just didn't happen during PM pick-up. And the next day, he was like, wait a second. There's nothing in this bag. And he was frantically trying to load it. And that was one moment he pointed out. He was like, okay, that actually helped getting all of their water cups ready to go getting their bags packed, and just making sure everything's ready to go for the next day. 

[00:33:17] Diana Rene

Yeah. I think that that's, that's sometimes hard for us to wrap our minds around. I do this too, and I've been doing this for years, and I know, like, I understand logically, like if I do these things the night before, I will be less stressed tomorrow morning.

[00:33:32] Sabra Martin

Yes.

[00:33:33] Diana Rene

Um, but even then, sometimes I'm like, Oh, it's it wouldn't be hard. Like I'll just do it in the morning. I'm tired, whatever it can't save me that much time. And I will say I, I recorded a whole episode about this because I was sick one weekend of like probably two months ago. And so I didn't do like any of my prep for Monday morning for, for the girls to go to school and, and then the, that Monday morning was chaos. Like I was so stressed, the girls were stressed. One of 'em ended up in tears, like walking out of the house before school. Um, and I was like, okay, I'm going to like, I'll probably hate myself for doing this, but I'm gonna experiment and not do any of this, this stuff to prepare for this full week and just see what happens.

[00:34:22] Diana Rene

And like, it felt like the wheels came off. I like, I, and like I said, I went into a whole episode on this, but our mornings started off on a completely different foot just because we weren't prepared, and I was stressed out. I was running around, I was forgetting something. I had to go to their school three times that week for forgot items.

[00:34:44] Diana Rene

And it's something so little that doesn't really take a ton of our time the night before, but it's amazing what can just our brains when we wake up and like, things are prepared and ready to go, we give ourselves the gift of a better day because we're starting off on a better foot. 

[00:35:02] Sabra Martin

Absolutely. Especially, we got our children involved with our PM pick-up as well. Um, so while we're getting them ready for bed and doing their bedtime routine, we added a as a part of that, they go into, we all share one closet. 

[00:35:15] Diana Rene

Uhhuh, 

[00:35:15] Sabra Martin

Um, just a part of us decluttering. I realized we all didn't have enough clothes spread out all of our things and for three closets. Um, so we all share one closet, and that's part of their bedtime routine. They go into our closet, and they pick out their clothes for the next day. We get to have a discussion about, you know, weather and weather awareness, what our bodies need to feel warm and safe.

[00:35:37] Diana Rene

Mm-hmm 

[00:35:39] Sabra Martin

My kids have been loving that they love going in and picking out their clothes for the next day, picking out their socks, picking out their shoes, and they sit it out on the couch. So it's ready to go. 

[00:35:48] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:35:48] Sabra Martin

And they're just so proud of what they picked out. So we've, we've found ways to involve them as well, so they feel like they are owners of this home too. And this is their space to take care of as well. 

[00:36:01] Diana Rene

Yeah, I love that. Okay. There's two things. Number one. So you have a family closet, so do we, everyone thinks we're crazy, but it helps so much. 

[00:36:09] Sabra Martin

It's so much easier, especially when you're folding and putting away laundry.

[00:36:11] Diana Rene

Yes. You could just always do that location. 

[00:36:14] Sabra Martin

Yes, we do it at night, and it got to a point where we weren't putting away the kids' clothes cuz they were asleep. 

[00:36:19] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:36:20] Sabra Martin

And I was like, I can't go into their closet, so, oh goodness. 

[00:36:23] Diana Rene

Um, and then the other thing is I love that you're talking about getting the kids involved because I think that does two things. I think number one, it takes a little bit off of mom and dad, which, um, I think ugh, I don't know. I don't know if it's necessarily like our generation, but I think that we just believe we have to do it all. 

[00:36:42] Sabra Martin

Yeah. 

[00:36:42] Diana Rene

Um, and we have to do everything for our kids. We have to do everything for our home, and that's something I've had to work through a lot in the last few years. And now I'm like a firm believer in, like, mom, mom is not responsible for the entire household. 

[00:36:57] Sabra Martin

Absolutely. The mental load in itself is heavy when you're doing that. 

[00:37:02] Diana Rene

Yep. So you're doing two things. You're, you're, you're releasing some of that, and you're taking that off of your shoulders a little bit, but you're also, um, preparing them to be able to like manage a household one day and to be like a contributing member of your household also, um, even at really young ages, so I just love that. 

[00:37:24] Sabra Martin

Yes. And it's it. We are, my kids go to a Montessori program during the day. So we're very, I'm very pro-Montessori in our household. That's kind of how we have our house functioning as well. Not to the point where we have like a full-functioning kids' kitchen, like I see on, on Pinterest. Yes, but we have a kitchen helper, and they use, you know, our own sink and everything. Um, but that's something that I try to instill in my children that this isn't just mama and dada's home. This is your home as well. Like you're responsible for your space too. And it's something that we all take care of together cause we're a team and 

[00:38:04] Diana Rene

Yep. 

[00:38:05] Sabra Martin

They like that. I mean, my two-year-old, I don't think he understands, he hates cleaning up still, but my four-year-old really jives with that and feeling ownership of her space.

[00:38:14] Diana Rene

Yeah. I love that. Okay. So what would you say if you had to only pick one thing? What has been the most positive outcome or most life-changing outcome, um, after like completely decluttering your whole home? 

[00:38:33] Sabra Martin

My husband and I have our weekends back. 

[00:38:35] Diana Rene

Yes! 

[00:38:35] Sabra Martin

That's the biggest, that is the biggest thing. Um, We actually get to spend our weekends working on projects that we want to do.

[00:38:45] Diana Rene

Mm-hmm 

[00:38:45] Sabra Martin

And not just cleaning the house because it doesn't take us long during the week to pick up our house or implement the systems of, you know, working on one cleaning aspect a day during the week and one monthly task during the week. Um, We actually have that time to go to parks, go to science museums. And that was the main reason why I convinced my husband to let us purchase the program was cuz I was telling him I want our weekends back and for our kids not to just look back and remember us cleaning all weekend cause that's the only free time we got. 

[00:39:22] Diana Rene

Yep. I love that. 

[00:39:23] Sabra Martin

And he's, he's on board. He, he loves it. We spent all this last weekend building garden beds and getting our backyard ready. And he was like, we didn't have to worry about our house at all. Like 

[00:39:33] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:39:35] Sabra Martin

Yeah. 

[00:39:35] Diana Rene

That's really your house now serves you versus you serving your house 

[00:39:40] Sabra Martin

100%. 

[00:39:41] Diana Rene

Yeah. Um, that was a really big thing for me too. I, you mentioned your husband works a lot and mine does also. And so, um, he normally works six days a week, and so we would have we have Sundays, right? Mm-hmm and pre. Minimalish minimizing. Uh, I just remember like we dreaded Sundays because he would get to be home, but like, he wouldn't get to play with the kids, or we wouldn't get to do anything fun because we would be like rage cleaning, and we'd be like mad at each other because like, 

[00:40:13] Sabra Martin

Yes 

[00:40:14] Diana Rene

Like, like we weren't doing, like, we didn't have clearly defined roles or like who was doing what? And so it was like just a day of like blaming and like being mad and cleaning and like, nobody got to hang out, nobody got to rest, nobody got to make memories. And now that, that, like, it's totally different now. Like we can like, okay, so I have a five and eight-year-old, so we can like actually sleep in a little bit on the weekends.

[00:40:42] Sabra Martin

Yes. I can't wait. 

[00:40:44] Diana Rene

Yeah. And we can like, just like take a leisurely walk and go to brunch and we're not worrying about all this crap. We have to do to prepare for the week ahead because, um, not even to prepare for the week ahead, I would say, just feel like we're trying to just catch up from the week that we just had.

[00:41:06] Sabra Martin

Right. 

[00:41:07] Diana Rene

So, I think that that's, um, the other thing is like the tension. Uh, I don't know if this, you experienced this also, but like we had so much tension, um, in our relationship just because of throughout the whole week, it, there was a lot of like, the house is a mess. It's chaos. Um, and from my perspective, it was like I'm home with the kids all day, and like, um, I'm trying to keep up and like, you get to be gone all day, right? 

[00:41:36] Sabra Martin

Yes. 

[00:41:36] Diana Rene

Like he, like, from his perspective, he's like, I don't get to be gone. Like I have to be gone working, and I come home, and the house is crazy. Um, and so there was like a lot of like blaming without actually saying out loud and blaming. And there was just this tension, always this underlying tension. 

[00:41:53] Sabra Martin

Absolutely. Especially with me working from home. I think it was hard to distinguish for him that I wasn't just sitting at home watching Netflix all day. Like I'm 

[00:42:02] Diana Rene

Yep. 

[00:42:02] Sabra Martin

Yes. I'm at home, but I have to actively work, and I was meeting with my students in lesson planning and, um, it, he would come home, and it's like, nothing was done, but yeah, that's because I was working the same amount of time he was just, sitting in our own space, but 

[00:42:20] Diana Rene

Yeah 

[00:42:20] Sabra Martin

Especially doing the program and reading The Fair Play Method book alongside it, 

[00:42:27] Diana Rene

Uhhuh. 

[00:42:27] Sabra Martin

I know not everyone is, um, fortunate enough to have a partner that's maybe just as on board with sharing household tasks. But I am really thankful that my husband is, and we can have that open communication. That's another thing we, we were able to stop and say, Hey, this is how I'm feeling. Um, it feels kind of yucky let's work on this and figure out what works for us as a family cuz we want to function better even in our own relationship. So kind of opened the door to that. Cause we're both very like passive-aggressive people.

[00:42:58] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:42:59] Sabra Martin

And we're like, I don't wanna be mad at you anymore for things that were outta your control, like 

[00:43:03] Diana Rene

Right. 

[00:43:04] Sabra Martin

Um, that helped a lot. 

[00:43:05] Diana Rene

Like you weren't reading my mind. How dare you? 

[00:43:07] Sabra Martin

Exactly, I know. Gosh, where's his crystal ball. 

[00:43:10] Diana Rene

Yeah. Right. 

[00:43:12] Sabra Martin

Yes. 

[00:43:13] Diana Rene

You know, and it's interesting you say that because, um, I do think that's true. I think that, um, having a partner that's on board right away and like, um, is asking what they can do to help or, you know, trying to help figure out the situation with you is a huge blessing. It's amazing. Um, but I will also say that if you're listening to this and your partner is not on board at all, there's absolutely hope because sometimes there just has to be, um, a roadmap for you to work it out because you don't know how to communicate that to them.

[00:43:49] Diana Rene

Um, and once you do learn how to communicate that to them, and you learn how to help get them on board like it can be a night and day situation. 

[00:44:01] Sabra Martin

Absolutely. 

[00:44:03] Diana Rene

I've had that with several members who like whose husbands, um, did not want them to get the program were like, absolutely not. This is dumb. We're not doing that. Um, and they went ahead and did it anyway. Um, and they were able to work through with them to the point where like a year later, they're like, I feel like I don't even recognize him because like, he's so like he's more into this now than I am like, 

[00:44:29] Sabra Martin

And that's something I think too with, at least whenever I purchase a program, my husband wasn't fully on board, and I just said, listen, I know you love me, and you care about my mental health, and I'm telling you, this is what I need to do for my mental health right now.

[00:44:43] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:44:43] Sabra Martin

Even if it's something that you're not 100% sure on if this is something that we can do just for me and to help me feel better. Um, I greatly appreciate if we did it, and that got him on board cuz he sees his wife. I struggle with anxiety too 

[00:44:58] Diana Rene

Uhhuh, 

[00:44:58] Sabra Martin

um, just all the things, and he was like, you know what? Okay. That's, you know, I can fork out that money for my wife's mental health. 

[00:45:07] Diana Rene

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Awesome. Okay. Well, I just wanted to say thank you so much for talking to me today. It was so fun talking to you, and I feel like I could talk to you for like four hours, but 

[00:45:20] Sabra Martin

Oh, for real, especially on ADHD things, I can talk about ADHD all day long.

[00:45:24] Diana Rene

Yeah, exactly. Maybe we'll have to have like a separate ADHD, uh, late diagnosis, women, ADHD episodes.

[00:45:31] Sabra Martin

For real, and how that affects your cleaning, like 

[00:45:33] Diana Rene

Yeah. 

[00:45:34] Sabra Martin

It's normal to be cluttered and messy when you have ADHD and go against the grain with that by decluttering. 

[00:45:40] Diana Rene

Right. Well, and I think, um, also like there's so much shame that we have learned to carry because, um, that's something that's been huge for me is like, um, so I've, I'm in therapy every week and 

[00:45:54] Sabra Martin

Mm-hmm, 

[00:45:55] Diana Rene

like, I don't, there's no hiding that. I am proud 

[00:45:57] Sabra Martin

Me too. I'm with you. 

[00:45:59] Diana Rene

Um, and that's something we're working through is like, I have like a lifetime of shame and guilt and thinking I'm just like lazy and dumb. 

[00:46:07] Sabra Martin

Yes, me too. 

[00:46:09] Diana Rene

Yeah. So I 

[00:46:10] Sabra Martin

I was always thinking, why can't my house be clean? Like, why can't I just, keep everything together, like all these other moms I'm seeing, obviously Instagram is a, you know, 

[00:46:20] Diana Rene

right.

[00:46:21] Sabra Martin

A highlight reel of people's lives, but I just felt like I couldn't adult. 

[00:46:24] Diana Rene

Yep 

[00:46:25] Sabra Martin

My brain just wouldn't get it together. And now I'm realizing it's cuz my brain's wired differently, and I have to work with my brain, not against it. 

[00:46:33] Diana Rene

Yep. And I think honestly like it's funny because when I was, uh, diagnosed, I, I met with like an ADHD coach for a couple sessions. And, um, she was like, you know, Diana, it's kind of funny because like the first like three things I tell people to do like you're already doing so, like, you were like, self-managing your ADHD without realizing it. And she's like the number one thing I tell people do to do is to declutter because getting rid of that stuff is going to make such a huge difference, um, in just everything in your life. Like it spills over into all aspects of your life. 

[00:47:11] Sabra Martin

Especially with that input. Like, we are so much more sensitive to sensory input, and visual input and mental input is a huge one, especially for women that like people with ADHD. Your house may be messy, but you know where that thing is that you're looking for.

[00:47:25] Diana Rene

Right. 

[00:47:26] Sabra Martin

Um, but then it just causes a huge mental load, trying to remember where everything is. So, 

[00:47:31] Diana Rene

Right, yep. 

[00:47:31] Sabra Martin

So I can see why decluttering would be one of the number one things to do. 

[00:47:37] Diana Rene

Well, it was so nice talking to you. Um, and thanks again for coming on and bringing us newborn baby noises that we can all. 

[00:47:47] Sabra Martin

Of course, she stayed awake the whole episode. She was really in tune too.

[00:47:51] Diana Rene

And she didn't cry one time for a whole hour. 

[00:47:53] Sabra Martin

She's my angel baby. She knows. She knew my first two were hard. 

[00:47:57] Diana Rene

Yeah. She's like, I'm just gonna be easy. 

[00:48:00] Sabra Martin

Yes, God bless her. 

[00:48:01] Diana Rene

Awesome Sabra. Well, thank you so much. Um, and we will talk to you later. 

[00:48:07] Sabra Martin

Perfect. Thank you. 

[00:48:08] Diana Rene

All right. Thanks, Sabra. 

[00:48:10] Diana Rene

Thanks for hanging out and listening to The Decluttered Mom Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world. If you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram stories, and if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow me @the.decluttered.mom and send me a DM to say hi. I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.